Evidence Towards a Jon & Sansa Endgame

“Oh, it would be so sweet…”

All of my favorites hints, theories, and foreshadows that could lead to a Jon and Sansa marriage. The reasons I love this ship. The reasons I support this ship. And the reasons you could, too.

This list is not exhaustive by any means. Of course there is so much more, loads of in-depth and fabulous metas posted every day that I don’t have the space devoted to here. This post will focus on the books instead of the show, as I could (and probably will) fill an entirely new post with all the hints and foreshadows from the show. I’ve also chosen to omit any arguments about/against Daenerys, because I did not want to turn this into an “anti” post (which would require several more pages alone, because boy, do I have thoughts!), but rather a post focusing solely on how Jon and Sansa are in fact a possibility instead of how incompatible other relationships might be. The points I’ve included here are my personal favorites and, in my opinion, easy to digest. A Jonsa 101, if you will.

Outline

The “Anti” Arguments

“They’re siblings!”
“They’re cousins – it’s still incest.”
“They were raised as siblings, and think of each other as siblings!”
“Sansa was horrible to Jon as a child.”
“Sansa is not Jon’s type.”
“If Jon were to love a Stark daughter it would be Arya, not Sansa.”
“Catelyn was horrible to Jon so by association Jon cannot like Sansa, who is most like her.”

The Evidence Logs

The Original Outline
A Time for Wolves
The Starks are the heart
A “Bittersweet” Ending
Jonnel “One Eye” Stark and Sansa Stark, She-Wolf of Winterfell
Targaryens and Incest
The Ashford Tourney Theory
The Girl in Grey Theory

Book Foreshadowing

Journey Parallels
Jon is the Prince That Was Promised…By Ned
Jon is the hero Sansa wishes for
Jon and Sansa share the same dreams
Snow Imagery
A political marriage makes sense…
…But a romantic one does, as well
Jon/Ygritte and Sansa/Sandor parallels
Ned/Catelyn Parallels
Parallel Book Quotes

The “Anti” Arguments

1. “They’re siblings!”

No, they’re actually not. Granted, we don’t have official confirmation from the books, but we have confirmation from the show that Jon is Lyanna and Rhaegar’s son, which makes Jon and Sansa first cousins.

2. “They’re cousins – it’s still incest.”

Not according to Westeros (and most of the modern world, to be honest). Eddard Stark’s father, Rickard Stark, married his cousin once removed Lyarra Stark. Tywin Lannister and Joanna Lannister were cousins. Lysa even suggested Sansa would be married to Sweetrobin, Sansa’s first cousin. Marriage between cousins is not looked down upon in Westeros.

Not only is is not considered incest or wrong in mainland Westeros, it was also very common among noble families in history. Queen Mary II and King William III were first cousins. Edward I of England and Edward “The Black Prince” married their first cousins. GRRM drew heavy inspiration from medieval history and historical events like The War of the Roses and The Hundred Years War, so it’s not crazy to assume he would also use or draw inspiration from the occurrence of royal cousin intermarriage in his books.

“That’s what originated the War of the Roses; An excess of candidates for the throne, all of them descendants of Edward III. Laking a heir (like Henry VIII) is just as bad as having too many of them. If you have five sons and you want to avoid that kind of problem, maybe it’s not such a bad idea to marry the firstborn girl of the oldest son with the third son (or with the firstborn of the third son?)”
[Westeros.org Interview in Barcelona]

Historical Cousin Marriages via JonSansaSource
Book References About Cousins via ShinyNewRevulsions
Incest and Cousin Relationships in Westeros via Pre-Gameofthrones

Now, the Free Folk are a little more judgmental. They don’t even bed people from the same village. Jon and Ygritte have a small discussion on incest where she calls it “vile” and that children born among kin are monsters.

“It wasn’t Longspear, then?” Jon was relieved. He liked Longspear, with his homely face and friendly ways.
She punched him. “That’s vile. Would you bed your sister?”
“Longspear’s not your brother.”
[…]”Craster’s more your kind than ours.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon III]

One thing I find exceedingly interesting about this quote, is that Jon does not directly answer her question about bedding a sister. He just side steps it. The conversation could just as easily say, “Would you bed your sister?” “Sansa’s not my sister.”

Ygritte even says that marrying within family is more of a Southron thing to do (“Craster’s more your kind…”), and as we know, Jon grew up south of the Wall.

3. “They were raised as siblings, and think of each other as siblings!”

A close proximity does not rule out a possible romantic attraction. Petyr Baelish and Catelyn grew up close in Riverrun and Petyr wanted to marry that so hard. Theon has been at Winterfell since Sansa was a baby, watched her grow up, and even he toys with the idea of marrying her, for her claim, for her beauty, and on a childhood wish for Ned to take him for a son. And, of course, Jaime and Cersei, siblings, twins, and raised together…you know the story. And yes, I understand and agree that two people who grew up as siblings falling in love/lust for each other can be problematic and a bit “squicky”. But it’s not completely unheard of in this universe.

It is true that Jon and Sansa grew up under the belief that Jon was Ned’s bastard with another woman, making him Sansa’s half-brother by blood. They grew up in the same castle and are close in age, but Jon and Sansa were the most distant Stark children growing up. They were not enemies, but they also were not thick as thieves, either.

Fandom belief is that Sansa probably sided with her mother Catelyn and shunned Jon for being a bastard. That he was among them, but not one of them. There’s really no hard proof for this, but we do know that Jon was much closer to the other children than Sansa. No matter what, Jon has always been less of a full blood brother to her…which might actually come in handy later when it’s needed.

In the show, the writers gave Sansa the line “I was awful to you, just admit it”[S6E4], she asks for forgiveness and Jon is pretty quick to forgive her and sweep it under the rug. While I believe the show runners included this little line because of the general fandom belief that she was in fact “awful” to Jon (needs citation!*), but also to reinforce the fact that they were not very close growing up and never truly had a sibling relationship.

As the books go on, it appear that both Jon and Sansa are starting to seemingly forget their sibling ties – or at least intentionally reminding themselves that they cannot, or do not, have family.

When Melisandre tells Jon of her vision of his sister coming to him for aid, he seems to completely forget that he has two sisters and speaks only in the singular. He only thinks of Arya – Sansa does not even cross his mind.

“I have no sister.” The words were knives. What do you know of my heart, priestess? What do you know of my sister?
Melisandre seemed amused. “What is her name, this little sister that you do not have?“
“Arya.” His voice was hoarse. “My half-sister, truly …”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon VI]

One could argue (and I do when discussing The Girl in Grey) that Melisandre hit much closer to home when she says “this little sister that you do not have.” Not only does Jon not have any living true-blood sisters, but out of the two he believes are his half-sisters, Jon is completely forgetting one of them.

When Sansa is assuming the identity of Alayne Stone, she hears of Jon being Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch and admits that Alayne Stone has no brothers.

“Oh, and the Night’s Watch has a boy commander, some bastard son of Eddard Stark’s.”
“Jon Snow?” she blurted out, surprised.
“Snow? Yes, it would be Snow, I suppose.”
She had not thought of Jon in ages. He was only her half brother, but still . . . with Robb and Bran and Rickon dead, Jon Snow was the only brother that remained to her. I am a bastard too now, just like him. Oh, it would be so sweet, to see him once again. But of course that could never be. Alayne Stone had no brothers, baseborn or otherwise.”
[A Feast for Crows – Alayne II]

Then Jon goes on to echo her thoughts almost exactly.

“On the strength of those words he had loosed Mance Rayder and six spearwives on the north…. Yet somehow here he was, pinning his hopes on them. All to save my sister. But the men of the Night’s Watch have no sisters.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon VII]

It appears that they are already distancing their sibling connection subconsciously. Under their new identities, Sansa as the bastard Alayne Stone, and Jon as Lord Commander and a man of the Night’s Watch, have to give up their familial ties. Both realize this, and lament it.

Sansa’s thoughts of Jon softens as the story goes on via Starks-in-the-north

4. “Sansa was horrible to Jon as a child.”

*Needs citation.

“He missed the girls too, even Sansa, who never called him anything but “my half brother” since she was old enough to understand what bastard meant.”
[A Game of Thrones – Jon III]

I guess it’s the “even Sansa” that makes many consider this to be a negative memory – Jon having to add Sansa to a list of which she might not be a permanent member – but I don’t know how so many readers have taken Sansa calling Jon “half-brother” instead of “bastard” as a slight. To me, I always interpreted this as a kindness. Once she was old enough to understand the word, she went out of her way to not use it in front of Jon. All of the Stark children call Jon their bastard brother, out loud and in their thoughts, not just Sansa. Does Jon grow up hating Robb and holding bitterness towards him for saying this?

“That morning he called it first. “I’m Lord of Winterfell!” he cried, as he had a hundred times before. Only this time, this time, Robb had answered, “You can’t be Lord of Winterfell, you’re bastard-born. My lady mother says you can’t ever be the Lord of Winterfell.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon XII]

It’s not cruel to refer to Jon as “half-brother” because that’s just a fact. He is their half-brother (or so they all think). Yes, in a perfect world all the Stark children, Sansa included, would damn the distinction and call him only “brother” and never admit otherwise, but that’s not the case. For any of them. Here Jon remembers that Sansa made a choice to never call Jon a bastard (to his face), and it’s an obvious enough distinction that Jon notices it. I see it as a kindness for no other reason than that.

We also know they all played together growing up, with the memory of Jon coming out of the crypts covered in flour and sending terrified young Sansa screaming (a possible foreshadow to his eventual death and resurrection). Sansa is the black sheep there, too scared and skittish to find it funny or even realize it is a prank right away – but they didn’t exclude her. Robb, Jon, Bran and Arya weren’t all just playing without Sansa there. It would be hard to grow up around a bunch of children the same age in a castle and not spend time together.

We know Jon and Sansa had discussions because Jon remembers manners advice Sansa had given him once. Why would a girl cold and cruel to Jon tell him this? What kind of conversation would spark this? There’s nothing inherently cruel about it. It’s only in character for a girl who is ladylike and courteous, and maybe a little romantic.

“That’s pretty.” He remembered Sansa telling him once that he should say that whenever a lady told him her name. He could not help the girl, but perhaps the courtesy would please her.”
[A Clash of Kings – Jon III]

We also know that Jon’s reaction to seeing her next to Joffrey is to describe her as “radiant” while acting hostile and bitter towards Joffrey. He doesn’t have any ill words towards her when she’s walking beside Joffrey, but plenty for the little prince.

“Sansa looked radiant as she walked beside him, but Jon did not like Joffrey’s pouty lips or the bored, disdainful way he looked at Winterfell’s Great Hall.”
[A Game of Thrones – Jon I]

There is no real, tangible proof that Sansa was horrible and cruel to Jon, and that he holds abject bitterness towards her for it. This is a common fandom headcanon that has grown a life of its own. As TZE puts so expertly in their post “Some Thoughts on Jon and Sansa”, Jon just didn’t have a place in Sansa’s world of distinctly marked gender roles and chivalry of the South; of Lords and Ladies, Princes and Princesses, Knights and Heroes.

“In AGOT, Sansa and Jon occupied two very different, inherently non-overlapping worlds, and each person’s understanding of how “the world” worked implicitly contained no real “place” for the other. […] there was no room for Sansa in Jon’s “world”. And Sansa’s “world” contained no real “place” for Jon.“
“Some Thoughts on Jon and Sansa” by TZE

The myth that Jon and Sansa never got along via thelawyerthatwaspromised
Jon saying “Sansa looked radiant” via tiny-little-bird

5. “Sansa is not Jon’s type.”

“Jon likes warrior women, not girls in a tower”, I hear you cry.

“Why not? thought Jon. They are all convinced she is a princess. Val looked the part and rode as if she had been born on horseback. A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon IX]

This quote is often used to prove what kind of woman Jon is attracted to, but it’s not as definitive as you would think. Jon doesn’t think “I like warrior women” but instead is trying to convince himself that that is what he should like.

Here, Jon first toys with the idea of Val being a princess, but quickly corrects himself to say she’s a warrior princess, not the damsel in distress kind from the stories. Jon was similar to Sansa in the beginning of the series, in that he also loved stories of heroes. He went to the Wall believing in these stories- wanting to be one. But he’s realized that his previous belief in heroes was wrong, and that reality is much crueler. So perhaps instead of him saying he doesn’t want a girl in a tower, he realizes that that type of princess is not real – it’s just a fairytale.

“He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me.”

[A Storm of Swords – Jon XII]

Marrying a lady and being a lord was never going to be in the cards for Jon because of his bastard status. He didn’t allow himself to want that while growing up. He joined the Watch and gave up any future of having children or a wife, perhaps because he had convinced himself that he was never going to have the fairytale of a princess or lady and get to be a lord with lots of non-bastard born children. So while he might deep-down wish for a princess, he forces himself to lower his expectations a bit when thinking realistically.

Good, honorable Jon grew up hearing stories of heroes saving the weak and standing up for what is righteous. Joining the Night’s Watch was the best option Jon had to become more than just “Ned Stark’s Bastard” and for him to become a hero. It doesn’t appear that Jon dislikes or flat out hates willowy creatures, because he repeatedly chooses to stand up for them, protect them, and even save them throughout his story.

Jon’s Hero Complex via Lady-in-a-Song

Sansa as the Maiden in the Tower

Sansa is a maid in a tower – several times. Currently she is in The Vale, and she was staying in a literal tower, the Maiden Tower. But there’s reason to believe she won’t stay there long.

“I dreamt of a maid at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, venom dripping from their fangs. And later I dreamt that maid again, slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow.”
[A Storm of Swords – Arya VIII]

While currently Sansa is being held and misled by an evil ~~step-mother~~ father, there’s a few hints and theories that she won’t wait there much longer to be rescued. She might save herself, or escape on her own. Sansa has epitomized the girl in a tower trope. But she breaks it.

Now, why else would Jon explicitly think of princesses who need rescuing from towers, while Sansa is in fact being held in towers several times during her story arc?

Maiden in the Tower post on Reddit by u/DickMadden
Sansa Stark: Princess in a Tower via LostLittleSatellites
Sansa, or the deconstruction of the princess trope via Asprettyasyourown
The Maiden in a Tower/Grail Maiden via ladygwynhyfvar

What did Jon like about Ygritte, then?

I have my own unpopular thinking on Jon and Ygritte’s relationship that I’m not going to try and argue here, but Jon doesn’t paint Ygritte with a paintbrush that cries she was perfect, either.

He doesn’t find Ygritte all that attractive. At least…at first. But that’s what crushes do to us. That’s what first loves do. You suddenly see past the flaws, or ignore them completely, and only see the things you like through rose colored glasses. You’re more likely to excuse away the issues you might have had “sober” because you get swept up and drunk on feelings.

“The wildlings seemed to think Ygritte a great beauty because of her hair; red hair was rare among the free folk, and those who had it were said to be kissed by fire, which was supposed to be lucky. Lucky it might be, and red it certainly was, but Ygritte’s hair was such a tangle that Jon was tempted to ask her if she only brushed it at the changing of the seasons.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon II]

At first he’s a little judgmental on Ygritte’s tangled, wild hair. Insinuating she’s not as beautiful as the Wildlings thought because she didn’t brush her hair. (*cough*likeaprincessinatower*cough*) Jon grew up south of the Wall, so of course he would carry the beauty standards of the Seven Kingdoms.

“At a lord’s court the girl would never have been considered anything but common, he knew. She had a round peasant face, a pug nose, and slightly crooked teeth, and her eyes were too far apart. Jon had noticed all that the first time he’d seen her, when his dirk had been at her throat. Lately, though, he was noticing some other things. When she grinned, the crooked teeth didn’t seem to matter. And maybe her eyes were too far apart, but they were a pretty blue-grey color, and lively as any eyes he knew. Sometimes she sang in a low husky voice that stirred him. And sometimes by the cookfire when she sat hugging her knees with the flames waking echoes in her red hair, and looked at him, just smiling … well, that stirred some things as well.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon II]

“For a time he dreamed that Ygritte was with him, tending him with gentle hands.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon VI]

The things Jon points out here that he likes, are the softer, gentler aspects of her personality. He likes her smile, her blue-grey eyes, her singing, and her red hair. He doesn’t think of how she wields a sword or is ferocious like a spearwife. He loves her when she’s soft, and he loves the way she makes him feel.

“He thought (…) Of Sansa, brushing out Lady’s coat and singing to herself. You know nothing, Jon Snow.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon XIII]

The aspects that Jon likes in Ygritte, are actually traits you could say are similar to Sansa. Red hair, blue eyes, singing, smiles, a gentle touch. These are what he thinks on when he’s thinking of her positively. Not her warrior-ness.

“He had never seen how beautiful she was. Her legs were skinny but well muscled, the hair at the juncture of her thighs a brighter red than that on her head. Does that make it even luckier? He pulled her close. “I love the smell of you,” he said. “I love your red hair. I love your mouth, and the way you kiss me. I love your smile. I love your teats.” He kissed them, one and then the other. “I love your skinny legs, and what’s between them.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon III]

When Jon is saying what he loves about her out loud, it’s very lusty and appearance-based. I mean…hormones. (Congrats on the sex.) But you’ll notice he doesn’t say, “I love the way you kill. I love the way you fight. I love the way you don’t brush your hair.”

“She grinned at that, showing Jon the crooked teeth that he had somehow come to love. Wildling to the bone, he thought again, with a sick sad feeling in the pit of his stomach.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon V]

Jon is always quick to remember she is a Wildling, and that they both are so different at the heart. He’s in love with a Wildling – the thing he’s supposed to hate and fight against and protect the rest of the realm from. It’s very Romeo and Juliet, very Montague and Capulet, but with the perfect ASOIAF twist – Juliet isn’t actually all roses and sunshine, and Romeo is trying to convince himself otherwise. Jon wants their love to be like a song so desperately but he can’t seem to shake the truth.

When he does think back on Ygritte and her violent tendencies, it seems to bother him.

“Ygritte was much in his thoughts as well. He remembered the smell of her hair, the warmth of her body … and the look on her face as she slit the old man’s throat. You were wrong to love her, a voice whispered. You were wrong to leave her, a different voice insisted.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon VI]

“A woman of the free folk.” How could he explain Ygritte to them? She’s warm and smart and funny and she can kiss a man or slit his throat. “She’s with Styr, but she’s not . . . she’s young, only a girl, in truth, wild, but she . . .” She killed an old man for building a fire. His tongue felt thick and clumsy. The milk of the poppy was clouding his wits. “I broke my vows with her. I never meant to, but . . .” It was wrong. Wrong to love her, wrong to leave her . . .
[A Storm of Swords – Jon VI]

It’s like his brain is always quick to insert her brutal actions alongside her soft ones. Reminding him of who she really is. Who she showed him she is. But he doesn’t want that to be the Ygritte he fell in love with. His mind screams wrong, wrong, wrong…

Jon isn’t blind to beauty, but he is a bit immune to it. He’s quick to point out when someone is beautiful, like Cersei or Melisandre or Val, but he’s not lustful of them or instantly in love with them.

“She looks lonely, Jon thought. Lonely, and lovely. Ygritte had been pretty in her own way, with her red hair kissed by fire, but it was her smile that made her face come alive. Val did not need to smile; she would have turned men’s heads in any court in the wide world.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon III]

He describes Val in such a way that she reminds me of a more traditional Westerosi feminine woman than the wild, unkempt Ygritte. Someone who would look more like Sansa, save the honey blonde hair.

“Val was clad all in white; white woolen breeches tucked into high boots of bleached white leather, white bearskin cloak pinned at the shoulder with a carved weirwood face, white tunic with bone fastenings. Her breath was white as well … but her eyes were blue, her long braid the color of dark honey, her cheeks flushed red from the cold. It had been a long while since Jon Snow had seen a sight so lovely.
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon XI]

Despite her loveliness, he’s not jumping at the chance of marrying her, either. He considers her a stranger and it gives him pause.

“Would I sooner be hanged for a turncloak by Lord Janos, or forswear my vows, marry Val, and become the Lord of Winterfell? It seemed an easy choice when he thought of it in those terms … though if Ygritte had still been alive, it might have been even easier. Val was a stranger to him. She was not hard on the eyes, certainly, and she had been sister to Mance Rayder’s queen, but still …”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon XII]

Then Val shows some rough, “warrior” qualities, and Jon does not seem turned on at all.

“North of the Wall it is. Hemlock is a sure cure, but a pillow or a blade will work as well. If I had given birth to that poor child, I would have given her the gift of mercy long ago.”
This was a Val that Jon had never seen before.
“Princess Shireen is the queen’s only child.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon XI]

Jon’s Type and Ideal Woman via FedonCiadale
On Jon Snow’s “Type” via ShinyNewRevulsions

Face it – Jon has a thing for red hair.

Jon is very aware of Ygritte’s red hair. He associates red hair very strongly with her, he almost always reminds himself it’s “lucky” and “kissed by fire” whenever he sees red hair. He mentions it a lot.

“She bit his neck and he nuzzled hers, burying his nose in her thick red hair. Lucky, he thought, she is lucky, fire-kissed.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon III]

“He had never seen how beautiful she was. Her legs were skinny but well muscled, the hair at the juncture of her thighs a brighter red than that on her head. Does that make it even luckier? He pulled her close. “I love the smell of you,” he said. “I love your red hair.“
[A Storm of Swords – Jon III]

“They shared the same sleeping skins every night, and he went to sleep with her head against his chest and her red hair tickling his chin. The smell of her had become a part of him.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon V]

“Not ten feet from Deaf Dick’s body, he glimpsed a leather shield, a ragged cloak, a mop of thick red hair. Kissed by fire, he thought, lucky. He brought his bow up, but his fingers would not part, and she was gone as suddenly as she’d appeared. He swiveled, cursing, and loosed a shaft at the men on the armory roof instead, but he missed them as well.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon VII]

“He did not fool himself; the free folk would make for unruly subjects and dangerous neighbors. Yet when he weighed Ygritte’s red hair against the cold blue eyes of the wights, the choice was easy. “I agree.”
“Good,” King Stannis said, “for the surest way to seal a new alliance is with a marriage. I mean to wed my Lord of Winterfell to this wildling princess.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon XI]

“Lady Melisandre was seated near the fire, her ruby glimmering against the pale skin of her throat. Ygritte had been kissed by fire; the red priestess was fire, and her hair was blood and flame.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon I]

“She looks lonely, Jon thought. Lonely, and lovely. Ygritte had been pretty in her own way, with her red hair kissed by fire, but it was her smile that made her face come alive.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon III]

“A tall spearwife, an old man on crutches, a moonfaced boy with a withered arm, a young man whose red hair reminded Jon of Ygritte.“
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon V]

As you can tell, he’s a bit obsessed. Once Sansa and Jon are reunited again, it’s not unlikely that Jon will take notice of her red hair, perhaps comparing it to Ygritte like he does with literally everyone else. Or…there’s a possibility he might be mistake her for Ygritte, like he did with Melisandre…

“When he turned he saw Ygritte.
She stood beneath the scorched stones of the Lord Commander’s Tower, cloaked in darkness and in memory. The light of the moon was in her hair, her red hair kissed by fire. When he saw that, Jon’s heart leapt into his mouth. “Ygritte,” he said.
“Lord Snow.” The voice was Melisandre’s.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon VI]

…even when Melisandre doesn’t bare as much of a resemblance to Ygritte as Sansa does, with red hair and blue eyes.

“Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother’s fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys.”
[A Game of Thrones – Arya I]

“She is just as comely as the Tyrell girl. Her hair was a rich autumn auburn, her eyes a deep Tully blue. Grief had given her a haunted, vulnerable look; if anything, it had only made her more beautiful.”
[A Storm of Swords – Tyrion VIII]

Whose POV is the Jonsa Reunion going to be written in? Via Ladyjonquil
The Thing About Redheads via Randomtvramblings

6. “If Jon were to love a Stark daughter, it would be Arya, not Sansa.”

Which is worse? Falling in love with the sister you were not as close to, or falling in love with the youngest sister who you were extremely close to? Arya and Sansa are as different as the sun and moon, so Arya might not embody these ideas Jon has of a beautiful, ideal woman.

Also, GRRM originally had planned on having a five year gap between books as the kids grew older, but he later abandoned that. This results in the Stark children being much younger than he originally intended, and perhaps GRRM had to adjust some characters storylines to accommodate their ages. With the five year gap, Jon would now be around 20 and Arya would be about 15, which isn’t quite impossible, admittedly. But without that 5 year gap, their age difference is a little more uncomfortable for a romantic relationship, with Jon now being around 16, and Arya 11. Jon and Sansa are closer in age, with her being only about 3 years younger than him.

“My con friend asked about the Jon/Arya relationship again and brought her (impressive) Game book that had all of her references marked out with little flags. She brought up the Ygritte connections to Arya that Jon saw in her. George did not directly answer yes or no if there would be anything romantic between the two.
He did say, despite what readers see as clues to a romantic relationship between Jon/Arya in the books themselves, he did not confirm this so easily but inferred that what Jon saw in Ygritte was a “comfort” level of femininity (not his exact words, just the jist)”

[Westeros.org Balticon Report May 29 2016]

(There’s more JonxArya talk further down on this post, and some interesting hints from GRRM that he wished he could change some past foreshadowing. Worth a read.)

Jon thinks of Arya strictly as his “little sister.” It’s affectionate, but much more familial and sibling-esque than him calling Sansa a sister. Usually there has to be a lot of interaction for a friends to lovers trope, and Jon and Arya are nowhere near each other right now. And after everything they both have been through now, would he even like the woman/girl Arya has become?

How do you think Jon feels about Sansa? via ScullyLikesScience

7. “Catelyn was horrible to Jon, so by association he cannot like Sansa, who is the most like her.”

“Thus, the question I have is if Catelyn went out of her way to mistreat Jon in the past — and which form this might have taken — or if she rather tried to avoid and ignore him?”
“Mistreatment” is a loaded word. Did Catelyn beat Jon bloody? No. Did she distance herself from him? Yes. Did she verbally abuse and attack him? No. (The instance in Bran’s bedroom was obviously a very special case). But I am sure she was very protective of the rights of her own children, and in that sense always drew the line sharply between bastard and trueborn where issues like seating on the high table for the king’s visit were at issue.
And Jon surely knew that she would have preferred to have him elsewhere.”

[westeros.org GRRM July 14 1999]

Catelyn did not love Jon, certainly, and she hates herself for it. She could not love a motherless child. Surely Jon knew this, felt it, and hated it. But I don’t think he projects any of that resentment towards Catelyn onto her children. He still loves Robb and Arya and Bran.

And here’s where I argue the significance of the Tragedy of Oedipus. The Greek story of the tragic hero Oedipus might have some serious parallels to Jon Snow, and I absolutely would not put it past GRRM to have some sort of “mother-loving” element to Jon’s arc. That seems right up GRRM’s alley. While Oedipus unknowingly sleeping with/marrying his mother is more of a direct parallel with Jon and Daenerys…having Jon and Sansa (who are basically Ned and Cat 2.0) marry, or having Jon develop feelings towards Sansa would also be a subtle nod to the myth.

“Why would Jon love red hair when Catelyn was so horrible to him?”

I’ve seen it argued that Jon could never be attracted to Sansa, because Sansa not only is the most Southern in her actions, but because she also looks so much like Catelyn.

Sansa was not the only red headed Stark kid. Jon loved Robb and Bran as well, and they had red hair. Catelyn WAS cold to Jon, but he doesn’t seem to relate this to Sansa or the other Stark kids – or even to red hair in general, or else he wouldn’t have loved Ygritte’s red hair so much – he only reserves his bitterness to Catelyn alone. I like to believe that Jon is mature enough to not be biased against all redheads in Westeros just based on Catelyn.

One could also argue that Jon might have a bit of an Oedipus Complex with Catelyn (the flawed, Freudian version). Catelyn clearly was not his mother, but she was the only mother figure Jon knew growing up. He saw her raise her children and be the lady of the house, and he didn’t really have any other adult woman/motherly figure in his life besides perhaps Old Nan or Septa Mordane. When Jon dreams of his mother, it’s an idealized version of Cat.

“Not my mother, Jon thought stubbornly. He knew nothing of his mother; Eddard Stark would not talk of her. Yet he dreamed of her at times, so often that he could almost see her face. In his dreams, she was beautiful, and highborn, and her eyes were kind.”

[A Game of Thrones – Jon III]

Jon has no reason to believe his mother is highborn and beautiful – rumors surround her identity and it’s not always of a “highborn lady.” Catelyn is highborn, very beautiful – but she was never kind to Jon. He basically wants his mother to be Cat, but kinder – to fix the flaw that Catelyn had showed him his whole life. With Jon’s dreams and longing for his mother, it’s not a stretch to think that his dream mother would also be his idea of a perfect woman. And truth be told, Lyanna was highborn, beautiful and kind. So, he’s not wrong, but he doesn’t know that. But Sansa…she’s also highborn, beautiful, and kind. A perfect mother figure, or lady, in his eyes.

Also, Sansa was 11 at the start of the series. She’s grown older and been exposed to more than just her lady mother at Winterfell. She has changed – so stop holding the actions of an 11 year old against her.

The Evidence Logs

The Original Outline

So much has changed or is different from the original outline to what GRRM went on to actually publish, that it shouldn’t be used to prove much – but it is fun to use it for speculation and get a glimpse of GRRM’s original thought process.

In the outline he writes that Bran, Arya and Catelyn go to Castle Black to reunite with Jon, and while there Jon and Arya fall into “tormented” love with each other. All is well, though, once R+L=J is revealed and they find out they are only cousins.

“Jon Snow, the bastard, will remain in the far north. He will mature into a ranger of great daring, and ultimately will succeed his uncle as the commander of the Night’s Watch. When Winterfell burns, Catelyn Stark will be forced to flee north with her son Bran and her daughter Arya. Hounded by Lannister riders, they will seek refuge at the Wall, but the men of the Night’s Watch give up their families when they take the black, and Jon and Benjen will not be able to help, to Jon’s anguish. It will lead to a bitter estrangement between Jon and Bran. Arya will be more forgiving…until she realizes, with terror, that she has fallen in love with Jon, who is not only her half-brother but a man of the Nights Watch, sworn to celibacy. Their passion will continue to torment Jon and Arya throughout the trilogy, until the secret of Jon’s true parentage is finally revealed in the last book.”

“Exiled, Tyrion will change sides, making common cause with the surviving Starks to bring his brother down, and falling helplessly in love with Arya Stark while he’s at it. His passion is, alas, unreciprocated, but no less intense for that, and it will lead to a deadly rivalry between Tyrion and Jon Snow.”

[Original 1993 Outline letter to GRRMs publishers]

The storyline for Sansa and Arya both differ greatly from this original outline (other characters as well, some of whom don’t even exist or make an appearance in the outline at all.). Sansa stays in King’s Landing, marries Joffrey and bears him a child. And likewise with Arya – her story has changed drastically, as well. So because Sansa’s story has changed so much, one has to wonder what else changed with it and what she now officially goes on to do in the story.

There’s also a Jon x Arya x Tyrion love triangle. Currently in the books, there’s no real reason for Tyrion to fall in love with Arya, but there could be reason to see Tyrion fall in love with Sansa. They were married and have interacted often, and it appears that Tyrion is starting to develop a desire for Sansa while she was in King’s Landing.

“I want her, he realized. I want Winterfell, yes, but I want her as well, child or woman or whatever she is. I want to comfort her. I want to hear her laugh. I want her to come to me willingly, to bring me her joys and her sorrows and her lust.”
[A Storm of Swords – Tyrion IV]

So it could be argued that GRRM could have just switched this plot over to Jon and Sansa and Tyrion. (Or, one could see Petyr filling in Tyrion’s place in the deadly triangle.)

The most important thing to take away from this original outline, is at least we know that it’s not completely out of GRRM’s ability or brain to write a tormented incest storyline. He would do it. He wanted to do it. Perhaps he is doing it.

“GRRM was complimented on how well he had captured family dynamics and the questioner wished to know if GRRM had any siblings. GRRM replied that he has 2 sisters and has slept with neither of them. The reply garnered a lot of laughter and some applause.”
[Oct 20 2005 entry on Westeros.org]

A Time for Wolves

“The direwolves will outlast us all, but their time will come as well.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Bran III]

The original title to the seventh and last book, which is now called “A Dream of Spring”, was for some time “A Time for Wolves”.

“A Time for Wolves” conjures up images of Arya charging into battle with Nymeria’s massive wolf pack. Of the Starks rising back up to power like they were before the Targaryen Dynasty. It’s vicious, battle-like, primal and victorious. (Or it could suggest their “time has come to an end.”)

Whereas “A Dream of Spring” is hopeful, yet still not promising. It is a dream of spring after all, not a promise of spring. It’s calmer, more lofty. The rebuilding after the storm. Flowers popping back up in spring after a harsh winter. A light at the end of the tunnel. Both bitter and sweet.

Both titles are good, in my opinion, but the fact that GRRM’s first idea for a title was “A Time for Wolves” is fun to remember when considering endgame. And if that title doesn’t scream Stark success, then what does?

“Oh, and I’ve also come up with a new title for the seventh (and final, I hope, I hope, I hope) volume of the series — A DREAM OF SPRING. I like the sound of that a lot better than A TIME FOR WOLVES, which has been my working title for book seven up to now, and I also think it gives a better sense of the book that I want to write. So — A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, then THE WINDS OF WINTER, then A DREAM OF SPRING. Shouldn’t take me long (hah).”
[“this, that, and the other thing” via GRRMs Not A Blog 3/28/2006]

The Starks are the Heart

“Whenever I propose analogies like that, fans jump in with their own ideas, but it depends on what team you root for. To me, the Starks are heroes, so they would be the Giants.”
[SI.com “Q&A: George R.R. Martin” May 31, 2012]

“The kids are a huge part of the story, in many ways the central part of the story. And I always intended to separate them and set them on their own paths.”
[Inside HBO’s Game of Thrones: Seasons 1 & 2 Hardcover – September 26, 2012]

GRRM has said that it was important for him to start the story at Winterfell when everyone was still together before they went their separate ways. He wanted to show what their life was like before ASOIAF happened to them. The Starks are the heart of the story.

“Well, the Starks are certainly the center of the story, when it begins. It all begins at Winterfell, with occasional cuts to Daenerys across the ocean, because there was no way I could get her into Winterfell. But, we bring all the characters together at Winterfell, and they’re all there for a while before they start to go their separate ways. By the time you’re done with the first book, pretty much all of them have gone their separate ways. (…) But, the Starks are the center of the book and, to a lesser extent, the Lannisters. They are still the major players. […]
Yeah, the children were always at the heart of this. The Stark children, in particular, were always very central. Bran is the first viewpoint character that we meet, and then we meet Jon and Sansa and Arya and the rest of them. It was always my intention to do that.”
[Collider.com Interview with GRRM April 17 2011]

“Martin has called J.R.R. Tolkien his “great model” in shaping the overarching plot of his series. “If you look at Lord of the Rings, it begins with a tight focus and all the characters are together. Then by end of the first book the Fellowship splits up and they have different adventures. I did the same thing. Everybody is at Winterfell in the beginning except for Dany, then they split up into groups, and ultimately those split up too. The intent was to fan out, then curve and come back together.”
[Time.com “5 Books That Influenced How George R. R. Martin Wrote Game Thrones” May 30 2017]

It seems pretty important for GRRM to start the story with everyone at Winterfell. (So much so that he even jokes that he couldn’t get Daenerys there.) A good cyclical narrative would have the story end in Winterfell, too. Similar to the Scouring of the Shire, which GRRM has stated many times is a big inspiration and goal to his “bittersweet” ending. Show the stark (no pun intended) contrast between before and after. Show what has changed and how the characters have changed, as well.

The Stark children are often said to be the central part, the heart, the core characters, as well as the Lannisters “to a lesser extent.” We cannot discount Sansa and her story, or any of the other children, because GRRM sees the Starks as the “heroes.” A story that ends with the heroes failing in their goals would not be bittersweet – it would be a tragedy.

“Ah, how innocent I was… little did that guy in the picture imagine that he would be spending most of the next two decades in the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros with Tyrion, Daenerys, Arya, Sansa, Jon Snow, Bran, and all the rest.”
[“The Long Game…of Thrones” via GRRM’s Not A Blog 8/1/2016]

One thing I noticed, is that when GRRM talks of the Stark kids, and he lists them by name, he almost always lists Jon and Sansa right next to each other. Like they are always paired and close together in his mind.

The Starks are the Heart via kellyvela
The Key Five via LostLittleSattelites
“Do you think that the key 5 characters are still valid? via KittyKatKnits

A “Bittersweet” Ending

“I think you need to have some hope. We all yearn for happy endings in a sense. Myself, I’m attracted to the bittersweet ending. People ask me how Game of Thrones is gonna end, and I’m not gonna tell them … but I always say to expect something bittersweet in the end, like [J.R.R. Tolkien]. I think Tolkien did this brilliantly. I didn’t understand that when I was a kid — when I read Return of the King. You can’t just fulfill a quest and then pretend life is perfect, he said. Life doesn’t work that way.”
[Vulture.com “Here Are the 6 Highlights From George R. R. Martin’s Northwestern Talk” Nov 5 2015]

“He talked a lot about Tolkein and related how in his maturity he could understand the genius of Tolkein ending with a bitter sweet “Scouring of the Shire” to which he thinks he will probably aspire (bittersweet, not scouring you understand). Yes he has made mistakes or made literary decisions in the series which on hindsight he would have corrected or re-written.”
[Westeros.org Entry Oct 16 2005]

“Asked if he knew the ending, he replied that it would be bitter-sweet. He expanded on this by talking about the scouring of the Shire. When he first read LOTR at the age of 12, he didn’t understand the ending. However, as a more mature reader he came to appreciate that triumph is always bought at a cost.”
[Westeros.org Entry Oct 20 2005]

What the “bittersweet” ending is, is really anyone’s guess. But it’s not hard to see that a Jon and Sansa marriage after the series of events, and maybe even the war, could be a part of that bitter-sweetness. Just look at the vitriol the idea of the pairing brings to many fans now. It is not an ending a majority want the series to end with, but it could make sense.

With a Jon and Sansa marriage, they both get what they first dreamed of – what they eventually gave up wanting – at the cost of their innocence and their family, and with the last person they probably ever thought possible. They could become the princess and hero of songs in Westeros history like they grew up hearing of, only the truth is much more painful and darker than a song. There’s a lot of death, and lying, and pain, and loss behind the songs.

What’s really interesting, is this idea of “what really happened” in the annals of history. History is written by the victors. The true stories behind the tales are lost down the generations, and GRRM demonstrates and establishes this with his own history of Westeros, especially regarding The Long Night and the forgotten history of The Others.

A thousand years down the line, the story of Jon Snow, the hidden Targaryen Prince, and his Winterfell Lady could be just as romanticized as the tales of Prince Aemon the Dragonknight or Brandon the Builder. The Song of Ice and Fire would be the telling of what really happened, the parts the bards will one day forget. The truth behind the song which will inevitably leave out the real, painful truth.

Their complicated relationship adds to the friction of this ending. They were raised as siblings! They weren’t very close! They never thought of each other that way! All this corrupts and subverts the possibility of this union being a picture perfect “Disney” ending. Jon or Sansa (or both) starting to have non-sibling feelings towards the other before someone reveals the R+L=J truth would be the best example of conflict and dramatic irony. We as readers will know the truth of their actual relationship, and we have to read along in anticipation for them to find out. Even without the confirmation of R+L=J, a tormented incest storyline ending with a surprise cousin reveal would be a plot twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan. It would make us start to dislike our “tragic hero” because of his impure thoughts, only to turn the situation on its head and force us to accept it in the end.

Also, the fact that Sansa started the story wanting to marry a prince who was really a bastard (in so many ways), and will end up marrying a bastard who was really a prince is ironic in the most bittersweet sense. Both Jon and Sansa get what they had always wanted, but in a “be careful what you wish for” way. It’s not a tasty pill to swallow, but it’s a little form of closure for two characters who have been through the ringer.

Jonsa is happening because it’s how GRRMs mind works via ShinyNewRevulsions

Jonnel “One Eye” Stark and Sansa Stark

George might have left us a little Easter egg hint amongst the Stark family tree. There’s only one other Sansa Stark in the family that we know of – and she married her uncle (her father’s half-brother) Jonnel “One Eye” Stark. Marriage within the bloodline, with similar names? Curious. This goes against a common mindset that “The Starks would never!”

Perhaps (actually, in most likelihood) this Sansa Stark is one of the She-Wolves of Winterfell that GRRM has expressed interest in writing more about. Sansa and Jonnel are one generation before Beron and Lorra Stark. If you look closer into the backstory of Jonnel and Sansa, there might be even more foreshadowing here. (Yeah, all of the below links are kinda required reading for this section, so I’m just going to leave it there.)

The White Wolf and the She Wolf?
Stark Family Tree Hints via OccupyVenus
Also, speaking of Jonnel “One Eye”… have you heard of one of my favorite theories, that Jon might lose an eye?
Jon is going to lose an eye by ShinyNewRevulsions

Targaryens and Incest

It seems like GRRM drew an awful lot of inspiration for the Targaryen family traditions from the Ptolemaic Dynasty. Targaryens are well-known for their practice of incest to preserve the “blood of the dragon”, but notable Targaryen figures have also fallen in genuine love/lust with their kin. Perhaps another Targaryen might follow this pattern of falling in love with a family member?

GRRM has explained many times, that the incestuous marriages with the Targaryen family is “traditional” and practical in a way that it is only done to preserve the “blood of the dragon.” It was not accepted or practiced in Westeros before the Targaryen’s arrival, but when you have fire-breathing dragons you can get away with some shit. But he’s also stated that the practice of polygamy is NOT traditional. The rare case of Aegon taking two sister-wives was more than just practical – perhaps it was for love. There are some notable examples of Targaryens practicing voluntary incest with their close relatives, brothers and sisters, and cousins, for both romantic or sexual reasons.

Aegon the Conqueror and his two sister wives, Visenya and Rhaenys

Aegon the Conqueror married two of his sisters. While incest was common in the Targaryen line, polygamy was not.

The eldest sibling, Visenya, was fierce and battle-minded, and considered to be more political than emotional. The marriage between Visenya and Aegon seems to have been one of duty. It is said for every one night Aegon spent with Visenya, he spent 10 with Rhaenys.

The youngest, Rhaenys, was Aegon’s favorite wife and he deeply loved her. She is said to have been graceful and lovely and kind. It was expected for Aegon to marry the eldest sister, Visenya, but perhaps his deep love and desire for the other sister, which went beyond “preserving the bloodline”, is what prompted him to take two wives. When she died, Aegon laid siege to Dorne for two years.

Of course, there’s the interesting similarities between Sansa and Arya and Visenya and Rhaenys. Arya considers Visenya a hero of hers, liking the warrior Visenya who wielded a Valerion steel sword named “Dark Sister” better than the more feminine and kind Rhaenys. So one can see the comparisons between Arya and Visenya, its also clear the similarities between Rhaenys and Sansa – and out of the two sisters, Aegon loved the lovely and kind Rhaenys most of all.

Alysanne and Jaehaerys

Jaehaerys came to the throne in 48 AC, in a time when the realm had been torn asunder by the ambitions of rebellious lords, the fury of the High Septon, and the cruelty of his uncle, Maegor I. […]Once in his majority, the king wed his sister Alysanne, and theirs was a fruitful marriage.Though young to the throne, Jaehaerys revealed himself from an early age to be a true king. He was a fine warrior, skilled with lance and bow, and a gifted horseman. […]Decisive in thought and deed, Jaehaerys was wise beyond his years, always seeking the most peaceable ends.
His queen, Alysanne, was also well loved throughout the realm, being both beautiful and high-spirited, as well as charming and keenly intelligent. Some said that she ruled the realm as much as the king did, and there was some truth to that.[…]
For forty-six years, the Old King and Good Queen Alysanne were wed, and for the most part it was a happy marriage, with children and grandchildren aplenty.[…]but the Old King outlived his beloved queen, and in his last years it was said that the grief of their parting hung over his court like a pall.
[The World of Ice and Fire – The Targaryen Kings: Jaehaerys I]

Jaehaerys and Alysanne Targaryen were brother and sister. It does seem that their marriage was one of convenience and circumstance, but they did genuinely care for each other eventually.

There’s also some great parallels between Alysanne and Sansa. The first that stood out to me are their names, as Sansa’s assumed name is Alayne while in the Vale, but they’re also similar in their beauty and wit.

Sansa Stark and “Good Queen” Alysanne Targaryen Parallels via jonsansasource

Aegon IV and Daena

Aegon the Unworthy was not a good dude. After his brother Aemon and his sister-wife Naerys died, and after fathering several little bastards, he fathered a bastard with his cousin Daena. It appears to have been wholly lust-based, as they did not marry. While, yes, they are cousins so it is technically not considered incest, the reason I include it is because it is a case of a Targaryen being attracted to and wanting to sleep with a known relative outside of marriage for seemingly no other reason than lust.

Bloodraven/Shiera Seastar/Bittersteel love triangle

“Bittersteel and Bloodraven both loved Shiera Seastar, and the Seven Kingdoms bled.”
[A Dance with Dragons – The Kingbreaker]

“I have my own ghosts, Bran. A brother that I loved, a brother that I hated, a woman I desired.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Bran III]

Brynden Rivers was her half-brother, and aegon Rivers was also her half brother

Aemon the Dragonknight and Naerys

The love story of Aemon the Dragonknight and his sister Naerys Targaryen has become legend enough to still be touted in song to current day. Aemon is said to have been the noblest knight in the Seven Kingdoms, and the best swordsman. Naerys was a frail and soft woman, and loved feminine things like singing, the harp, needlework and she was a devout follower of her faith.

They were siblings who loved each other strongly, but their father forced Naerys to marry their brother Aegon the Unworthy. Aemon is said to have cried when the decision was made, Aemon and Aegon fought on the wedding day and Naerys wept during the bedding. Aemon joined the Kingsguard shortly thereafter, sticking to his vows and never marrying. Since he was in the Kingsguard, he stayed close to Naerys, protecting her and defending her honor until he died. Once even joining a tourney in disguise because he heard Naerys’ husband was going to slight her and name one of his mistresses The Queen of Love and Beauty instead of Naerys.

The Ashford Tourney Theory

One of the most popular theories that suggests a Jon and Sansa marriage is the Ashford Tourney Theory. The pattern was originally discovered (as far as I know) by
Nobodysuspectsthebutterfly in 2012, and has been expanded on since.

It’s a strange coincidence that the champions of the Ashford Tourney, from the Dunk and Egg stories [The Hedge Knight published in 2005], seem to follow the pattern of Sansa’s suitors in the series.

Lyonel Baratheon -> Joffrey Baratheon
Leo Tyrell -> Willas Tyrell
Tybolt Lannister -> Tyrion Lannister
Humfrey Hardyng -> Harry Hardyng
Prince Valarr Targaryen -> ?

If Sansa’s suitors continue to follow this pattern, that would make her final suitor a Targaryen.

Now, there’s a very small amount of characters left to fill this requirement. There’s currently Daenerys, Jon, and fAegon. Daenerys is a woman, so highly unlikely (but I guess not completely impossible). fAegon is suspiciously missing from the show, so also pretty unlikely. This leaves Jon, the secret Targaryen, who also happens to know Sansa, might be attracted to her, and might have a reason to marry her.

If you take the Ashford Tourney Theory similarities and coincidences like this (some do not) then it could be a pretty straight forward foreshadow to an eventual Jon and Sansa marriage.

The Tourney at Ashford and Sansa’s Future Husband Reddit Post
Alt shift x video on the Ashford Tourney Theory
GOT 7X07 Finale Thoughts via JonsaSnow

The Girl in Grey Theory

“I have seen your sister in my fires, fleeing from this marriage they have made for her. Coming here, to you. A girl in grey on a dying horse, I have seen it plain as day. It has not happened yet, but it will.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon VI]

“Sansa’s in the Vale!” “Sansa and Jon are not going to reunite!” “Sansa stole fArya’s storyline!”

Open your eyes to the possibility that Sansa is in fact The Girl in Grey on a Dying Horse from Melisandre’s vision and that she’s going to travel to Castle Black or seek out Jon’s help/protection. (#iwilldiescreamingaboutthegirlingrey)

In A Dance with Dragons, Melisandre tells Jon of a vision she sees in her fires. Jon believes the prophecy to be about Arya (or fArya, who is to be wed to Ramsay Bolton), but when Alys Karstark comes to Castle Black instead he decides Mel’s vision was wrong. This leads him to ignore her warnings about his imminent death to dire consequences.

The ASOIAF wiki, The Citadel and Westeros.org all shrug off Melisandre’s vision as wrong, or that it was Alys Karstark all along. But what if she wasn’t wrong, and the girl on a dying horse just has not come yet?

Sansa being the true Girl in Grey is just a fan theory pieced together from hints like R+L=J was a theory pieced together from book hints, and it is not necessarily evidence towards a romance. BUT it is important in that it fulfills one crucial thing for a Jon and Sansa romance or endgame – them reuniting.

The most popular theory is that Alys Karstark was a red herring and the prophecy is really about Jeyne Poole who is pretending/believed to be Arya Stark at the moment. And then there are some readers who think the girl from the vision is in fact Arya. (and there’s a few who think it might be Daenerys…???)

BUT, there are a few more details of Melisandre’s vision that need to be considered when trying to figure out the true identity of this girl, which could outright rule out some of these popular options.

“The girl. I must find the girl again, the grey girl on the dying horse. Jon Snow would expect that of her, and soon. It would not be enough to say the girl was fleeing. He would want more, he would want the when and where, and she did not have that for him. She had seen the girl only once. A girl as grey as ash, and even as I watched she crumbled and blew away.”
[…]
“The girl,” she said. “A girl in grey on a dying horse. Jon Snow’s sister.” Who else could it be? She was racing to him for protection, that much Melisandre had seen clearly. “I have seen her in my flames, but only once. We must win the lord commander’s trust, and the only way to do that is to save her.”
[…]
“Did your fires show you where to find this girl?”
“I saw water. Deep and blue and still, with a thin coat of ice just forming on it. It seemed to go on and on forever.”
“Long Lake. What else did you see around this girl?”
“Hills. Fields. Trees. A deer, once. Stones. She is staying well away from villages. When she can she rides along the bed of little streams, to throw hunters off her trail.”
He frowned. “That will make it difficult. She was coming north, you said. Was the lake to her east or to her west?”
Melisandre closed her eyes, remembering. “West.”
“She is not coming up the kingsroad, then. Clever girl. There are fewer watchers on the other side, and more cover.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Melisandre I]

If every facet of the vision is to be believed correct, then we have a checklist of what to look out for.

Jon’s (younger) sister
In grey
On a dying horse
Fleeing from marriage
Racing to Jon for protection
Traveling east of Long Lake (avoiding the Kingsroad)
Thin sheet of ice over Long Lake (early winter)

1. (Younger) Sister

Now, we don’t know the basis on which Melisandre determined the girl she saw was his sister. Was it because the girl looked like Jon? Was it an intuitive feeling she had? (“Who else could it be?”) Or was she just saying that? This is something I could not say, but let’s go through the options.

Alys Karstark

While Alys is a member of the Karstark family, they’re not considered blood related at all. One could argue that they look very similar, with dark hair and grey eyes, but Melisandre does not explicitly say that that’s what she was basing her statement on.

Jeyne Poole

Jeyne Poole is not Jon’s sister, but she is pretending to be Arya at the moment.

Pay it, aye, thought Theon. Pay it with false coin. Jon Snow would see through the impostesure at once. Lord Stark’s sullen bastard had known Jeyne Poole, and he had always been fond of his little half-sister Arya.
[The Winds of Winter – Theon]

Arya Stark

Obviously, Arya is Jon’s little sister (well technically cousin, but no one knows that yet).
Jon makes the distinction of “half-sister” which Mel acknowledges but immediately ignores. Mel kind of brushes off his “blood relative” correction by saying “yeah, yeah. You’re a bastard, but she’s your sister.” The confusing history of half-sister or sister isn’t important to her. She still uses the term ‘sister.’

Jon seems so intent on thinking the “sister” Melisandre refers to is Arya. Readers could take this many ways, most often being that he truly does not care for Sansa, consider her his sister, or that he loves Arya more. All could be true, but Jon keep’s reiterating this mantra while dealing with this drama. He has no sister… I have no sister… Not ‘sisters’ – sister! Once he took the black he truly did sever all blood ties to family. He’s trying hard to let that fact sink in for his baby sister Arya, but in regards to Sansa, it seems easier for him to accept that fact.

The fact that Jon thinks it’s only Arya makes me think it’s more likely that it isn’t Arya. GRRM is using Jon as another example of his favorite unreliable narrator trick to throw readers (and Jon) off the scent.

Maybe it’s even foreshadowed in Mel’s words “This sister that you do not have?” Which sister has Jon completely forgotten?

Sansa Stark

Sansa (also Jon’s true cousin if his lineage becomes common knowledge) is also younger than him and thought to be his half-sister. Although Jon and Sansa do not look as similar as Jon and Arya do – so Melisandre wouldn’t be basing this assumption on looks alone, nor does she mention it.

Also, Sansa is the last person Jon would expect, so it’s also the last person the readers would expect.

How would Jon react if, instead of Arya running to him from a marriage, it was Sansa – the sister he forgot? Would it be a powerful reunion or would he be cold and distant? And of course, if he is brought back like in the show, he will have already died and be resurrected (and potentially be a completely different person) before she gets there.

Daenerys Targaryen

No. Just no.

2. Grey

Who can say what a fictional character may be wearing in the future? It’s impossible to know if someone will be wearing grey or not. And it might be a moot point anyway – GRRM could have given us the hint literally sentences before the prophecy.

“Surprise made him recoil from her. “Lady Melisandre.” He took a step backwards. “I mistook you for someone else.” At night all robes are grey. Yet suddenly hers were red.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon VI]

At night all robes are grey.

AT NIGHT ALL ROBES ARE GREY.

If a girl on a dying horse came to Castle Black in the night, no matter what she wore, it could be perceived as grey. If Mel saw the girl in her visions at night, she would look like she was wearing grey.

This is ALSO repeated in Mercy’s chapter from TWOW – “in the fog all cats are grey.”

Or maybe it’s a metaphor. “A girl as grey as ash, and even as I watched she crumbled and blew away.”

Alys Karstark

According to the book, there is no mention of her being in grey. When Jon sees her, she seems to have been bundled in a black Night Watch cloak “three times her size.” She’s described as blue when she was found. But no grey.

“Girl was blue from the cold, shivering like all get out, so Ty wanted Clydas to have a look at her.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon IX]

Jeyne Poole

When Jeyne is rescued from Winterfell, she’s disguised in a spearwife’s clothes.

“When Squirrel returned, the other four were with her[…] Clad as serving girls in layers of drab grey roughspun, they wore brown woolen cloaks lined with white rabbit fur.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Theon VII]

While the bottom layers are grey roughspun, the outer layer is the brown cloak with white rabbit fur. I doubt that Melisandre would first see the drab layers before seeing the cloak – especially in the harsh snows Winterfell is currently experiencing, or where it’s cold enough there’s ice on Long Lake.

Arya Stark

I can’t say definitively if Arya will be wearing grey if she’s headed north to Castle Black, but there are a few elements which could be related to Arya symbolically. The Stark colors are white and grey, so both Arya and Sansa could be considered “grey girls” metaphorically. Both Sansa and Arya’s direwolves had grey fur. And Arya was known as “Grey Mouse” once.

Sansa Stark

Like Arya, there are a few grey symbols which could be related to Sansa. The Stark house colors. Her direwolf, Lady. But one thing I’ve noticed is that one of Sansa’s favorite colors to wear, is grey.

Sansa turned away without thinking and ran to her wardrobe. […] Sansa threw a plain grey cloak over her shoulders and picked up the knife she used to cut her meat. If it is some trap, better that I die than let them hurt me more, she told herself. She hid the blade under her cloak.
[A Clash of Kings – Sansa II]

Cersei herself arrived with the seamstress, and watched as they dressed Sansa in her new clothes. The smallclothes were all silk, but the gown itself was ivory samite and cloth-of-silver, and lined with silvery satin. The points of the long dagged sleeves almost touched the ground when she lowered her arms. And it was a woman’s gown, not a little girl’s, there was no doubt of that. The bodice was slashed in front almost to her belly, the deep vee covered over with a panel of ornate Myrish lace in dove-grey. The skirts were long and full, the waist so tight that Sansa had to hold her breath as they laced her into it. They brought her new shoes as well, slippers of soft grey doeskin that hugged her feet like lovers.
[A Storm of Swords – Sansa III]

In Petyr’s masterplan to marry Sansa and reveal her true identity, it involves her wearing a white and grey cloak.

“… and when they come together for his wedding, and you come out with your long auburn hair, clad in a maiden’s cloak of white and grey with a direwolf emblazoned on the back . . . why, every knight in the Vale will pledge his sword to win you back your birthright. So those are your gifts from me, my sweet Sansa . . . Harry, the Eyrie, and Winterfell. That’s worth another kiss now, don’t you think?”
[A Feast for Crows – Alayne II]

When we most recently saw Sansa, it’s noted that the competitors of the tourney received silver cloaks, and the women received bolts of silk in an unknown color.

“There were gifts as well, splendid gifts. Each of the competitors received a cloak of cloth-of-silver and a lapis brooch in the shape of a pair of falcon’s wings.[…] For their mothers, sisters, and ladies fair there were bolts of silk and Myrish lace.
[The Winds of Winter – Alayne]

So, it seems very likely that if something were to go wrong, or take a drastic turn, during the wedding ceremony and Sansa had to flee, that she would most likely, at the very least, be wearing a grey cloak.

The quote that really caught my eye, is how Melisandre describes the grey girl like “ash.”

She had seen the girl only once. A girl as grey as ash, and even as I watched she crumbled and blew away.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Melisandre I]

Some may attribute this to Jeyne Poole, whose nose is so afflicted by frostbite that it might soon fall off. But Sansa is under the assumed identity of “Alayne Stone” at the moment – and what else is grey and crumbles? Stone.

Up here where the slope was steepest, the steps wound back and forth rather than plunging straight down. Sansa Stark went up the mountain, but Alayne Stone is coming down. It was a strange thought.
[A Feast for Crows – Alayne II]

Imagining that something drastic does happen that sends Sansa fleeing from The Vale and North to Jon, it’s not hard to see that as Sansa flees her assumed identity as “Stone” crumbles and falls away from her, as she becomes Sansa Stark again.

Daenerys Targaryen

I guess Daenerys can wear whatever color she wants, right?

3. On a dying horse

Alys Karstark

Alys was on a dying horse, that much was made very clear.

“None, m’lord. She come alone. Her horse was dying under her. All skin and ribs it was, lame and lathered. They cut it loose and took the girl for questioning.”
A grey girl on a dying horse. Melisandre’s fires had not lied, it would seem.
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon IX]

Jeyne Poole

“You will escort the Braavosi banker back to the Wall. Choose six good men and take twelve horses.“
“To ride or eat?”
The king was not amused.
[The Winds of Winter – Theon]

Stannis’ men are so hungry they have started to eat their horses. If this trend of not having food continues for those heading north, and the weather continues to get worse so there’s no vegetation, then sure – it’s possible to assume that the horses will start to wither away as they don’t eat either. (That is, if the group doesn’t eat the horses first.)

Arya Stark

It’s possible, however very very unlikely, that if Arya were to return to Westeros on a boat from Braavos, and landed in a city far away from Castle Black, that a horse she manages to get could grow sick and weary and deathly by the time she arrived at Castle Black. But, to me, it’s hard to imagine a skilled assassin with the ability to change faces and in no hurry, would be forced to travel on a sickly horse. But who knows – situations could change very quickly.

Sansa Stark

If Sansa escapes The Vale, against Petyr’s wishes and she has to move in secret, she might possibly have to get whatever horse she can find or barter, and the trip from The Vale to Castle Black is a very long one and winter will not be easy.

Daenerys Targaryen

Why would Daenerys be on a horse? A dying one at that?

4. Fleeing from marriage

Alys Karstark

Alys is literally fleeing from an arranged marriage. Check.

Jeyne Poole

Jeyne has already married Ramsay, and is rescued due to the horrible treatment she is enduring. So yes, you could say Jeyne is fleeing from a marriage.

Arya Stark

There’s really no hint or reason to believe that Arya is being forced to marry anyone right now, let alone fleeing from it. Who would be arranging a marriage for Arya that she had to flee to Jon from? No one knows her noble birth, she’s in the free city of Braavos, a marriage does not seem in the cards for her right now.

Sansa Stark

Sansa is currently in the Vale with Littlefinger, waiting on a marriage with Harrold Hardyng, which is part of Petyr’s masterplan to gain power and eventually win back Winterfell for Sansa.

“Harry the Heir, Alayne thought. My husband-to-be, if he will have me. […] Joffrey was comely too, though, she reminded herself. A comely monster, that’s what he was. Little Lord Tyrion was kinder, twisted though he was.”
[The Winds of Winter – Alayne]

“If it please you, I will show you to your chambers myself.” This time her eyes met Harry’s. She smiled just for him, and said a silent prayer to the Maiden. Please, he doesn’t need to love me, just make him like me, just a little, that would be enough for now.
Ser Harrold looked down at her coldly. “Why should it please me to be escorted anywhere by Littlefinger’s bastard?” […]
A lady’s armor is her courtesy. Alayne could feel the blood rushing to her face. No tears, she prayed.Please, please, I must not cry. “As you wish, ser. And now if you will excuse me, Littlefinger’s bastard must find her lord father and let him know that you have come, so we can begin the tourney on the morrow.” And may your horse stumble, Harry the Heir, so you fall on your stupid head in your first tilt.
[The Winds of Winter – Alayne]

We don’t know what to make of Harry the Heir yet. He and Alayne really get off on a bad foot, yet she still follows through with trying to seduce him to win his favor – and seems to end up succeeding. At this point, it appears Sansa has every intention to follow through with the marriage plans – but perhaps something will happen that will have her fleeing – and soon.

Daenerys Targaryen

I doubt it. Really doubt it. When you can just burn someone to get what you want, why flee to Westeros?

5. Racing to Jon for protection

Alys Karstark

Of course. You can’t get much more clear than this.

Alys knelt before him, clutching the black cloak. “You are my only hope, Lord Snow. In your father’s name, I beg you. Protect me.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon IX]

Jeyne Poole

While Jeyne is escaping a horrible marriage with Ramsay Bolton, she’s not technically fleeing North for Jon’s protection. She was under the protection of Stannis once she escaped the castle. She’s only going to Castle Black to reunite with her supposed brother under Stannis’ orders.

“Oh, and take the Stark girl with you. Deliver her to Lord Commander Snow on your way to Eastwatch.” Stannis tapped the parchment that lay before him. “A true king pays his debts.”
“The black brothers will accompany you as far as Castle Black,” the king went on. “The ironmen are to remain here, supposedly to fight for us. Another gift from Tycho Nestoris. Just as well, they would only slow you down. Ironmen were made for ships, not horses. Lady Arya should have a female companion as well. Take Alysane Mormont.”
[The Winds of Winter – Theon]

Besides the cold and winter, the girl’s protection and safety does not hinge on arriving to Castle Black and Jon. She could have been fine if Stannis had not decided to send her north. Out of the little Melisandre could determine from her one vision, that fact that the girl fleeing to Jon for protection, was something she was sure of.

“She was racing to him for protection, that much Melisandre had seen clearly.“
[A Dance with Dragons – Melisandre I]

Arya Stark

Since there’s no reason to believe Arya is fleeing from a marriage, or even on the same continent, I can’t say if Arya would run to Jon for protection, either. I mean, sure – he’s her brother, but does she even know he’s lord commander, or would she even need protection if shes a masterful little assassin, anyway? Not enough to go on here.

Sansa Stark

While all signs right now point to Sansa being on board with this plan, and working alongside Petyr with little resistance or questioning, there still is reason to believe she won’t end up staying in the Vale or even with Petyr much longer.

“I dreamt of a maid at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, venom dripping from their fangs. And later I dreamt that maid again, slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow.”
[A Storm of Swords – Arya VIII]

As Preston Jacobs elaborates on his series “Prepping for Winter”, there might be danger brewing all around Sansa without her knowledge. The Royce’s might be plotting against her and Littlefinger, and may already know that Alayne Stone is Sansa Stark. In fact, it’s Myranda Royce who might have led Sansa into giving herself away.

Sansa believes most, if not all, of her family to be dead. She only recently learn that Jon was made Lord Commander at Castle Black from Myranda Royce herself.

“There’s a new High Septon, did you know? Oh, and the Night’s Watch has a boy commander, some bastard son of Eddard Stark’s.”
“Jon Snow?” she blurted out, surprised.
“Snow? Yes, it would be Snow, I suppose.”
[A Feast for Crows – Alayne II]

This new and shiny piece of information could become very important if Sansa finds herself on the run, with nowhere else to go.

Daenerys Targaryen

why?

6. Traveling east of Long Lake

Please excuse my shitty MS Paint job. These are just to illustrate that just traveling east of Long Lake while avoiding the Kingsroad is not a throw away line. For example, these two show where the Kingsroad is and where Long Lake is.

The Kingsroad lays closely west of Long Lake
Long Lake is above Winterfell and Dreadfort, but directly west of Karhold

Alys Karstark

Alys was fleeing from Karhold. She would not have gone near enough to Long Lake for Melisandre to have seen it in the visions. Karhold is northeast to Long Lake, and going near it would have taken her unnecessarily out of the way, when she could just travel straight to Last Hearth and headed north through The Gift.

Jeyne Poole

Jeyne leaves with Stannis’ men from Crofters Village, which is just a little southwest of Winterfell. The most rational path does not take them by Long Lake. Of course, there could be some extenuating circumstance that forces Jeyne to go around Long Lake, separated from her group, but that route gets dangerously close to Dreadfort, and you think she would want to avoid that side of the lake in case Bolton Men are out looking for her. Smarter to stay in the Wolfswood the entire way.

Arya Stark

Assuming Arya takes a ship from Braavos to get to Westeros, there are a few harbors she could arrive in. White Harbor, Widow’s Watch, King’s Landing, Ramsgate, Karhold, or straight up to Eastwatch.

Out of those, she would have to land in White Harbor, Ramsgate or down in King’s Landing for her to take a path that leads her by Long Lake.

King’s Landing seems unlikely since it’s so far out of the way. She would spends months and months just traveling up to Castle Black alone once she landed.

White Harbor or Ramsgate could be possible, by why go to White Harbor when you could just go straight to a harbor more north? Unless no ships are going that way, I guess.

Sansa Stark

How/why Sansa escapes the Vale is yet to be seen. She could be smuggled out, like she was in King’s Landing, or she could escape on her own. The Vale is unique in that it’s extremely isolated and hard/dangerous to enter or leave without using the main High Road. From the pre-released chapters from TWOW, we see that Sansa/Alayne is now at the Gates of the Moon, preparing for a tourney and winter.

If Sansa takes the High Road or The Bloody Gate out, she would have to use the Kingsroad for a least a little bit, but then Long Lake is directly in her path to Castle Black. If she is escaping because she killed Petyr Baelish, or because someone is after her, then she might want to avoid using any main roads at all.

If Sansa manages to catch a ship out of The Vale, there are a few ports she could land at. Harbors which would lead to her passing east of Long Lake would be the same as Arya. White Harbour or Ramsgate.

Ned passed through the Mountains of the Moon, to the Three Sisters to seek passage to the North

Another option, which I think would be very poetic and significant, is if she took the same path her father did when he left the Eyrie to head north during Robert’s Rebellion. Ned crossed the Mountains of the Moon, to the Fingers, sailing (with the infamous fisherman daughter) to the Bite. If Sansa followed her father’s footsteps, this puts her around White Harbor, heading north, east of the Long Lake, moving through forests and rivers to avoid being caught.

Daenerys Targaryen

I mean…sure. Why not?

7. Early winter

This is a detailed timeline created by various volunteers and fans.

Using this as a guide, winter isn’t officially announced until the epilogue of ADWD. It begins to snow in ADWD Theon V. Jon notes the snows have started to move south in ADWD Jon IX when Alys arrives. Basically, winter is just starting around the time of Jon’s death. And AFFC and ADWD are happening simultaneously, and we haven’t seen Sansa since AFFC.

Alys Karstark

It’s been snowing on and off at Winterfell around the time Alys would have had to leave Karhold. Despite that, she wouldn’t have been going past Long Lake.

Jeyne Poole

The weather does appear to be pretty bad by the time Jeyne and her group leave for Castle Black.

Arya Stark

Arya is still in Braavos training. It would most likely be deeper into winter when she would be able to cross the sea.

Sansa Stark

AFFC and ADWD are happening simultaneously, so it’s not crazy to think that Sansa could find herself needing to escape the Vale and going to Castle Black around the same time that Jon dies or is resurrected.

We last saw Sansa/Alayne about three months before Jon is killed. Alayne’s early-released TWOW chapter is ambiguously set, but we can gather that only about a month has passed since her last chapter, that it is at least still Autumn, and that winter has not officially arrived yet. It’s good enough weather to still enjoy the outdoors.

“Though snow had blanketed the heights of the Giant’s Lance above, below the mountain the autumn lingered and winter wheat was ripening in the fields. Outside the window she could hear the laughter of the washerwomen at the well, the din of steel on steel from the ward where the knights were at their drills. Good sounds.”
[The Winds of Winter – Alayne]

“Wh-wh-when will the t-t-tilts commence?”
“Oh, soon, I pray,” said Randa. “Some of the competitors have been here for almost a moon’s turn, partaking of my father’s meat and mead.”
[The Winds of Winter – Alayne]

This three month time gap might give her enough time to need a reason to escape the Vale, flee, and head north to Castle Black…and to her Lord Commander ‘brother’, Jon Snow.

Daenerys Targaryen

I’m tired.

Although I didn’t list it as a requirement from Melisandre’s vision, I just want to add this addition to the girl from the prophecy. Rattleshirt/Mance says that the girl is “clever” for knowing to avoid the Kingsroad on her way north. Part of Sansa’s character arc is from being considered a “stupid little girl” to becoming one of the sharp players of the game of thrones – and learning from the best minds around her. I want to remind everyone – Sansa is clever.

For a moment he looked shocked. But as the song was ending, he burst into a laugh. “No one told me you were clever.”
[The Winds of Winter – Alayne]

Alys Karstark is widely believed to be the girl Melisandre saw in her visions, but she still fails to fulfill every checkmark. She is not Jon’s sister, she was not in grey, and she couldn’t have traveled by Long Lake. Plus, Jon’s not trusting Melisandre is the crucial part as to why he did not heed her warning about daggers in the night because he believed her to be wrong – but she wasn’t wrong about the daggers, so why does she have to be wrong about the girl?

If you believe Alys to be a red herring, the next most popular theory is that it is really Jeyne Poole who Melisandre saw. She fills several of the descriptions – if twisted just enough. She could be his sister because she is the girl believed to be Arya at the moment. She could be wearing grey because the squirrel clothes were described as grey. She is technically seeking protection from a marriage at Castle Black. And the horses could end up weak and dying. But it seems extremely unlikely that she will pass east of Long Lake when the Wolfswoods are just as accessible and don’t take her out of the way.

I’ll admit that Sansa requires just as much guessing and assuming, simply because there’s not a lot of material to go off of. I can’t say for sure if she’ll be wearing grey, or if she will flee at all. But if Sansa is the Girl in Grey, the show might have already told us. In the show Sansa is fleeing from a marriage and she arrives wearing grey. It might be a subtle nod to this prophecy if GRRM had informed D&D of it beforehand.

Why Melisandre’s prophecy is about Sansa via LoverofLemons
Another Grey Girl Meta via ShinyNewRevulsions
Unreliable Narrators via HimE
Whose POV is the reunion going to be written in? via LadyJonquilintheNorth
Prepping for Winter: Alayane via Preston Jacobs

Book Foreshadows

Journey parallels

First, look at wolvesofsprings artwork here. JUST LOOK AT IT.

One thing that is so interesting and stands out so strongly with Jon and Sansa, are their parallel (or even reversed) journeys.

Sansa is highborn, the eldest daughter of one of the oldest houses in Westeros, and she aspires to be the ladiest of ladies. Jon is the bastard of the Lord of one of the oldest houses, and is constantly reminded of the fact that he is not highborn. Sansa is said to look and act the most “southern” of the Stark children and Jon is said to have the most Stark features and act the most “northern.” They start off on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, and this is probably the best explanation for their distant relationship.

Although they are in such different places of society, Sansa and Jon start off as story-loving, naive children who want to live the songs. Sansa dreamed of songs of knights and princes and romance, and Jon dreamed of heroes and amounting to being more than “just a bastard.” They both wanted to live and experience the stories they grew up hearing about – to escape the sheltered life they both lived at Winterfell. Sansa went to King’s Landing, expecting princes and romance, and Jon went to the Wall, expecting heroes and valor.

As far as their choices on love at this point in the story, Sansa went to King’s Landing under the promise of marriage to a handsome prince, and Jon gave up any future possibility of family and marriage to join the Night’s Watch. They literally split on the Kingsroad to go down their two different metaphorical paths.

“Stop it,” Jon Snow said, his face dark with anger. “The Night’s Watch is a noble calling!”
Tyrion laughed. “You’re too smart to believe that. The Night’s Watch is a midden heap for all the misfits of the realm.”
[A Game of Thrones – Tyrion II]

“He had touched her cheek, his thumb lightly tracing the line of a cheekbone. “Life is not a song, sweetling. You may learn that one day to your sorrow.”
[A Game of Thrones – Sansa III]

They both have the veils ripped from their eyes. Sansa soon learns that a life at court is not all roses and fairytales, and Jon learned that the Night’s Watch is not as noble and heroic as he once believed.

Dareon gave him a look. “The stewards are fine for the likes of you and me, Sam, but not for Lord Snow.”
“I’m a better swordsman and a better rider than any of you,” Jon blazed back. “It’s not fair.“
[A Game of Thrones – Jon VI]

“Sansa, your lord father knows best,” Septa Mordane said. “You are not to question his decisions.”
“It’s not fair!” Sansa pushed back from her table, knocked over her chair, and ran weeping from the solar.”
[A Game of Thrones – Eddard XIV]

“No one had told him the Night’s Watch would be like this ; no one except Tyrion Lannister. The dwarf had given him the truth on the road north, but by then it had been too late.”
[A Game of Thrones – Jon III]

“She had always imagined the Night’s Watch to be men like Uncle Benjen. In the songs, they were called the black knights of the Wall. But this man had been crookbacked and hideous, and he looked as though he might have lice. If this was what the Night’s Watch was truly like, she felt sorry for her bastard half brother, Jon.”
[A Game of Thrones – Sansa III]

They both soon become “prisoners” in their own ways. Sansa was kept as a prisoner/ward in King’s Landing alone, without her family, and surrounded by lions and those who might want to harm her. Jon had to navigate beyond the Wall while being held by Wildlings, and has to lie and assume a role, just like Sansa.

“They may demand that you cut your cloak to ribbons, that you swear them an oath on your father’s grave, that you cursed your brothers and your Lord Commander. You must not balk, whatever is asked of you. Do as they bid you… but in your heart, remember who and what you are.”
[A Clash of Kings – Jon VIII]

“My father was a traitor,” said Sansa at once. “And my brother and lady mother are traitors as well.” That reflex she had learned quickly. “I am loyal to my beloved Joffrey.”
[A Clash of Kings – Sansa I]

“The Hound was right, she thought. I’m only a little bird, repeating the songs they taught me.”
[A Game Of Thrones – Sansa VI]

Then they both have “marriages”, of some sort, to their supposed enemies. Sansa is married to a Lannister, forced to shed her Stark name and become a part of the family that betrayed her own. She’s called a traitor for being the daughter of Ned Stark and the sister of The Young Wolf, and a traitor for marrying a Lannister. She just can’t win.

Ygritte claims that Jon stole her, the Wildling version of marriage, and he claims himself a turncloak. Being a Wildling would make him part of the ‘family’ that his new ‘family’, The Night’s Watch, are rivals with.

Despite their current coupled situations, both Jon and Sansa feel alone.

“Jon wondered where Ghost was now. Had he gone to Castle Black, or was he running with some wolfpack in the woods ? He had no sense of the direwolf, not even in his dreams. It made him feel as if part of himself had been cut off. Even with Ygritte sleeping beside him, he felt alone. He did not want to die alone.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon V]

“She threw back the coverlets. I must be brave. Her torments would soon be ended, one way or the other. If Lady was here, I would not be afraid. Lady was dead, though; Robb, Bran, Rickon, Arya, her father, her mother, even Septa Mordane. All of them are dead but me. She was alone in the world now. Her lord husband was not beside her, but she was used to that.” –
[A Storm of Swords – Sansa IV]

“If Jon was remembered at all, it would be as a turncloak, an oathbreaker and a murderer.”
[A Storm Of Swords – Jon X]

Jon’s accused of being a traitor. Sansa is accused of killing a king. They both run away from their captures, and their romantic interests.

As Sansa assumes a bastard identity in the Vale, it’s around the same time Jon is elected as Lord Commander. They essentially trade places from where they were in the beginning of the story. Sansa has been demoted and humbled, and Jon has been put into a higher status.

Perhaps Alayne is some form of karma for how Sansa viewed Jon growing up. She gets a taste of what being a bastard is like and sees life through a bastards eyes.

“I could close my eyes. The mule knows the way, he has no need of me. but that seemed more something Sansa would have done, that frightened girl. Alayne was an older woman, and bastard brave.”
[A Feast for Crows – Alayne II]

There’s also evidence that she bases her bastard identity on Jon, and the traits she assumes for Alayne show that she admired Jon somewhat. Alayne is older, has dark hair, is “bastard-brave.” When deciding what Alayne would do or say, she pulls out these traits that could be based on her memory of Jon at Winterfell.

“All around was empty air and sky, the ground falling away sharply to either side. There was ice underfoot, and broken stones just waiting to turn an ankle, and the wind was howling fiercely. It sounds like a wolf, thought Sansa. A ghost wolf, big as mountains.”
[A Feast for Crows – Alayne II]

“He thought of Robb, with snowflakes melting in his hair. Kill the boy and let the man be born. He thought of Bran, clambering up a tower wall, agile as a monkey. Of Rickon’s breathless laughter. Of Sansa, brushing out Lady’s coat and singing to herself. You know nothing, Jon Snow.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon XIII]

The Parallel Journey of Jon Snow and Sansa Stark via SwordintheDarkness
Some Random Bits of Jonsa Foreshadowing via ShinyNewRevulsions

And before someone jumps in with “Daenerys and Jon have parallel journeys, too!” Jon and Daenerys are foils – and that’s not necessarily a good thing. It actually kind of spells out bad news for one of them. (Here’s a hint: it’s Daenerys.)

Jon is the prince that was promised … by Ned.

“It was all meant for Brandon. You, Winterfell, everything. He was born to be a King’s Hand and a father to queens. I never asked for this cup to pass to me.”
[A Game of Thrones – Catelyn II]

Ned says “father to queens” – plural. Excuse me Ned, but how many queens do you think there can be?

Perhaps Ned was a bit more prophetic than he realized. Ned makes a strange promise to Arya in AGOT;

“You,” Ned said, kissing her lightly on the brow, “will marry a king and rule his castle, and your sons will be knights and princes and lords and, yes, perhaps even a High Septon.”
Arya screwed up her face. “No,” she said, “that’s Sansa.”
[A Game of Thrones – Eddard V]

He promises Arya she will marry a king – but how is that possible when Sansa is the one engaged to the only prince? (How many kings do you think there can be, Ned?) And when Ned breaks off the engagement between Sansa and Joffrey, he promises to make her a match with a high lord – which would make sense because if not Joffrey, what other prince would there be? So what Ned says would be correct, if it were not for the weird “kings” and “queens” language he has used up until this point.

Ned promises Sansa a better match with someone brave, gentle, and strong. Who embodies those traits better than Jon Snow himself?

“Sweet one,” her father said gently, “listen to me. When you’re old enough, I will make you a match with a high lord who’s worthy of you, someone brave and gentle and strong. This match with Joffrey was a terrible mistake. That boy is no Prince Aemon, you must believe me.”
[A Game of Thrones – Sansa III]

“They were not little boys when they fought, but knights and mighty heroes. “I’m Prince Aemon the Dragonknight,” Jon would call out,”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon XII]

Besides the obvious, what’s really interesting here is the actual stories behind Prince Aemon the Dragonknight and Ser Ryam Redwyne.

Brave gentle strong gifset via OccupyVenus
Jon is the prince that was promised… via NostalgicZombie on Reddit

Jon is the hero Sansa wishes for

Heroes like in songs

“True knights.” The queen seemed to find that wonderfully amusing. “No doubt you’re right. So why don’t you just eat your broth like a good girl and wait for Symeon Star-Eyes and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight to come rescue you, sweetling. I’m sure it won’t be very long now.”
[A Clash of Kings – Sansa V]

She shouted for Ser Dontos, for her brothers, for her dead father and her dead wolf, for gallant Ser Loras who had given her a red rose once, but none of them came. She called for the heroes from the songs, for Florian and Ser Ryam Redwyne and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, but no one heard.
[A Clash of Kings – Sansa IV]

“For those who remained, a singer was brought forth to fill the hall with the sweet music of the high harp. He sang of Jonquil and Florian, of Prince Aemon the Dragonknight and his love for his brother’s queen, of Nymeria’s ten thousand ships. They were beautiful songs, but terribly sad. Several of the women began to weep, and Sansa felt her own eyes growing moist.”
[A Clash of Kings – Sansa VI]

Janos Slynt

“Frog-faced Lord Slynt sat at the end of the council table wearing a black velvet doublet and a shiny cloth-of-gold cape, nodding with approval every time the king pronounced a sentence. Sansa stared hard at his ugly face, remembering how he had thrown down her father for Ser Ilyn to behead, wishing she could hurt him, wishing that some hero would throw him down and cut off his head. But a voice inside her whispered, There are no heroes, and she remembered what Lord Petyr had said to her, here in this very hall. “Life is not a song, sweetling,” he’d told her. “You may learn that one day to your sorrow.” In life, the monsters win, she told herself.”
[A Game of Thrones – Sansa VI]

“The smile that Lord Janos Slynt smiled then had all the sweetness of rancid butter. Until Jon said, “Edd, fetch me a block,” and unsheathed Longclaw. (…)
The pale morning sunlight ran up and down his blade as Jon clasped the hilt of the bastard sword with both hands and raised it high. “If you have any last words, now is the time to speak them,” he said, expecting one last curse.
Janos Slynt twisted his neck around to stare up at him. “Please, my lord. Mercy. I’ll … I’ll go, I will, I …”
No, thought Jon. You closed that door. Longclaw descended.
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon II]

They share the same dreams

“If I give him sons, he may come to love me. She would name them Eddard and Brandon and Rickon, and raise them all to be as valiant as Ser Loras. And to hate Lannisters, too. In Sansa’s dreams, her children looked just like the brothers she had lost. Sometimes there was even a girl who looked like Arya.”
[A Storm of Swords – Sansa II]

“I would need to steal her if I wanted her love, but she might give me children. I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall. I could name him Robb. Val would want to keep her sister’s son, but we could foster him at Winterfell, and Gilly’s boy as well. Sam would never need to tell his lie. We’d find a place for Gilly too, and Sam could come visit her once a year or so. Mance’s son and Craster’s would grow up brothers, as I once did with Robb.
He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon XII]

Their dreams of a family are literal puzzle pieces waiting for each other. They don’t love the people they are thinking of, but think of how they might make it work, or how they could start a family. It is not the people they are thinking of that’s important, as much as the results. Jon considers Val a stranger, let alone love her, and Sansa yearns for Loras but resigns herself to dream of a life with Willas.

You’ll notice that both Jon and Sansa start their thoughts with the same parallel reasonings.

They start with the ways they could earn love: “If I give him sons”, and “I would need to steal her.” Then they state what they want out of the union : “he may come to love me” with “and she might give me children.” Jon wants children, and is willing to earn Val’s love for them, and Sansa wants love and is willing to bear Willas’ children for it.

Their ideas of their imaginary family are also two puzzle pieces waiting for each other. Jon sees a son that looks like Robb, and two non-blood children to grow with him, like Jon and Theon. Sansa sees three boys, who she would name Eddard, Brandon and Rickon, and a girl who looks like Arya – finishing the Stark family that filled Winterfell when they were children. (The only missing pieces being Sansa and Catelyn themselves.) Jon does not imagine a girl who looks like Sansa or Arya, and Sansa does not replace Jon in her dreams, but one has to wonder how Sansa, a red headed Tully look-alike, could ever give birth to a daughter who looks like Arya. Unless…

And these parallel thoughts happen in the same goddamn book.

Clearly, they both are nostalgic for the Winterfell of their childhood and for children who will bear the names for the family they lost. Jon even wants to be Lord of Winterfell and take in two boys who are not his true-born children. Val or Ygritte would not know the Winterfell from his childhood, but Sansa would. She was there. And she wants the same.

Rebuilding Winterfell

“Outside the flakes drifted down as soft and silent as memory. […] The sight took Sansa back to cold nights long ago, in the long summer of her childhood. She had last seen snow the day she’d left Winterfell. That was a lighter fall than this, she remembered. Robb had melting flakes in his hair when he hugged me, and the snowball Arya tried to make kept coming apart in her hands. It hurt to remember how happy she had been that morning.
A pure world, Sansa thought. I do not belong here. Yet she stepped out all the same. Her boots tore ankle-deep holes into the smooth white surface of the snow, yet made no sound. Sansa drifted past frosted shrubs and thin dark trees, and wondered if she were still dreaming. Drifting snowflakes brushed her face as light as lover’s kisses, and melted on her cheeks. At the center of the garden, beside the statue of the weeping woman that lay broken and half-buried on the ground, she turned her face up to the sky and closed her eyes. She could feel the snow on her lashes, taste it on her lips. It was the taste of Winterfell. The taste of innocence. The taste of dreams.”

“What do I want with snowballs ? She looked at her sad little arsenal. There’s no one to throw them at. She let the one she was making drop from her hand. I could build a snow knight instead, she thought. Or even… She set to work. The snow fell and the castle rose. Two walls ankle-high, the inner taller than the outer. Towers and turrets, keeps and stairs, a round kitchen, a square armory, the stables along the inside of the west wall. It was only a castle when she began, but before very long Sansa knew it was Winterfell.”
[A Storm Of Swords – Sansa VII]

“The warmth took some of the ache from his muscles and made him think of Winterfell’s muddy pools, steaming and bubbling in the godswood. Winterfell, he thought. Theon left it burned and broken, but I could restore it. Surely his father would have wanted that, and Robb as well. They would never have wanted the castle left in ruins. “
[A Storm of Swords – Jon XII]

“He was the blood of Winterfell, a man of the Night’s Watch. I will not father a bastard, he told her. I will not. I will not. “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” she whispered,”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon VI]

“I am not your daughter, she thought. I am Sansa Stark, Lord Eddard’s daughter and Lady Catelyn’s, the blood of Winterfell. She did not say it, though.”
[A Feast for Crows – Sansa I]

My OTP Is Sansa Stark x Winterfell via Sansa-hand-of-the-king

Snow Imagery

Jon’s bastard name of Snow is probably multipurpose in its intention of being both metaphor and foreshadow. Just how Melisandre’s chapters often equate fire or burning with a lover, Sansa has the curious similarity in that in her chapters snow is equated with a lover or a hero.

“Drifting snowflakes brushed her face as light as lover’s kisses, and melted on her cheeks…She could feel the snow on her lashes, taste it on her lips.”
[A Storm of Swords – Sansa VII]

And as she builds Winterfell out of snow, she makes a snow knight.

“I could build a snow knight instead, she thought. Or even… She set to work. The snow fell and the castle rose.”
[A Storm of Swords – Sansa VII]

Sandor’s Cloak

“When she crawled out of bed, long moments later, she was alone. She found his cloak on the floor, twisted up tight, the white wool stained by blood and fire. The sky outside was darker by then, with only a few pale green ghosts dancing against the stars. A chill wind was blowing, banging the shutters. Sansa was cold. She shook out the torn cloak and huddled beneath it on the floor, shivering.”
[A Clash of Kings – Sansa VII]

Sansa keeps the cloak the Hound left in her room, which was white and soaked in blood and fire. The Kingsguard cloaks have been described as “snow-white.”

“Yet the huge man at the head of the column, flanked by two knights in the snow-white cloaks of the Kingsguard, seemed almost a stranger to Ned…”
[A Game of Thrones – Eddard 3]

Just in case the symbolism isn’t obvious, I’ll explain.
White = Snow = Jon
Blood and Fire = Fire and Blood = Targaryen

The cloak is a symbol for Jon, and Sansa huddles beneath it for warmth and shelter, which is precisely the “cloaking ceremony” of marriages in Westeros.

A Cloaking Takes Place via ladyjonquilinthenorth

Stone and Snow

“Lord Redwyne laughed. “What is there north of the Neck that any sane man would want? If Greyjoy will trade swords and sails for stone and snow, I say do it, and count ourselves lucky.”
[A Storm of Swords – Tyrion III]

Sansa’s bastard name is Alayne ‘Stone‘ and Jon’s is ‘Snow‘. Perhaps this is a foreshadow to Jon and Sansa pairing up to reclaim the North and Theon supporting them? Food for thought.

A political marriage makes sense…

“Our alliances in the south may be as solid as Casterly Rock, but there remains the north to win, and the key to the north is Sansa Stark.”
[A Storm of Swords – Tyrion III]

The conclusion to The War of the Roses was two people from the opposing houses marrying to secure the realm. While the Starks and the Lannisters are the opposing houses inspired by the York’s and Lancaster’s, after Dany kicks in the door to Westeros and fucks shit up, it might be smart to have the Hidden Targaryen Prince, the Blood of the Dragon, marry Sansa Stark, the Blood of Winterfell. The Lannisters are looking pretty grim to survive the series right now. Cersei is prophesied to die, Tyrion is about to be allied with Dany, Jaime is on a redemption arc, etc. Sansa might be the person Jon needs to gain the trust of the entire Kingdom back.

It’s well established that most of Westeros doesn’t trust Targaryen’s after what happened in the past. They are believed to be touched by madness and no one likes the idea of a king ruling with dragons or fire and blood. Not only is a R+L=J reveal crucial for most of the kingdom to accept a Jon and Sansa marriage – it might be the reason for such a marriage, as well. The trope can be spun on its head, and it ends up that Sansa has to save Jon by giving him legitimacy and trust by giving him her name – making him a true Northern Stark. Without trust, Jon could very well see himself on the receiving end of some hate or banishing, especially if Dany ends up doing some bad damage and loses.

Now, let’s consider the opposite. What if Robb’s will resurfaces, and the fact that he declared Jon as his heir and disinherited Sansa and Arya from Winterfell becomes known? Then Jon could marry Sansa so she is not completely thrown out of her home, and the Stark lineage can continue. He’s established that he believes Winterfell rightfully belongs to her, and he could end up saving her and her namesake through marriage, as well.

“Winterfell belongs to my sister, Sansa…”

If all the Stark men are either dead or unable to have children or be Lord of Winterfell, this would threaten the end of the entire Stark line. Sansa and Arya would be the only Starks left. If they married other houses and took their husband’s name, then the name of Stark would disappear forever. Noble women can keep their maiden name, like Cersei Lannister, but their children would not carry the last name Stark. How could this be the end for GRRM’s “giants” and “heroes”?

The entire Stark line being wiped out would be a tragedy – not bittersweet. Just like the problem with having too many heirs, the Starks would have the problem of having not enough heirs. Jon and Sansa could theoretically – through the totally accepted and fine custom of cousin marriage in this universe – rebuild not only Winterfell, but the Stark name, as well.

Why Does Jonsa Make Complete Political Sense via thelawyerthatwaspromised
Jonsa Makes Political Sense pt 2 via thelawyerthatwaspromised
Who Should Sansa Stark Marry Once She Conquers Winterfell?

…But a romantic one does as well

“No one will marry me for love…”

Now, I know I just laid out how a political marriage for Sansa and Jon makes sense – but Sansa’s whole story arc revolves around her self-worth and dreams of romance and love. After all the experiences with men, and love, and plotting… I want Sansa to marry for love, goddammit.

“Petyr Baelish took her by the hand and drew her down onto his lap. “I have made a marriage contract for you.”
“A marriage . . .” Her throat tightened. She did not want to wed again, not now, perhaps not ever. “I do not . . . I cannot marry. Father, I . . .” Alayne looked to the door, to make certain it was closed. “I am married,” she whispered.
[A Feast for Crows – Alayne II ]

In fact, I think the constant emphasis on Sansa and her reluctance to marry and the dread it gives her means even that much more that she will in fact marry for love by the end of the series. It’s critical to her entire story.

Sansa constantly thinks of how a marriage for love is not in the cards for her anymore – and that is why I think she’s so much more likely to end up marrying for love. It’s the last thing she expects now, and she knows anyone who wants to marry her is for Winterfell, and not herself alone.

“She wanted to look beautiful for Willas Tyrell. Even if Dontos was right, and it is Winterfell he wants and not me, he still may come to love me for myself.”
[A Storm of Swords – Sansa II]

“I don’t want any Lannister, she wanted to say. I want Willas, I want Highgarden and the puppies and the barge, and sons named Eddard and Bran and Rickon. But then she remembered what Dontos had told her in the godswood. Tyrell or Lannister, it makes no matter, it’s not me they want, only my claim. “You are kind, my lord,” she said, defeated. “I am a ward of the throne and my duty is to marry as the king commands.”
[A Storm of Swords – Sansa III]

“How would you like to marry your cousin, the Lord Robert?”
The thought made Sansa weary. All she knew of Robert Arryn was that he was a little boy, and sickly. It is not me she wants her son to marry, it is my claim. No one will ever marry me for love. But lying came easy to her now.”
[A Storm of Swords – Sansa VI]

She feels inconsequential to anyone who expresses an interest in marrying her. This is an extreme mindset to follow, as I can only imagine how worthless and invisible it could make one feel. She feels used.

Unlike the other suitors, Jon wants Winterfell but not at the cost of Sansa’s rightful claim. He seems to be the only man right now who wouldn’t run her over with an auroch to claim Winterfell for himself. He has the opportunity and he still insists it’s rightfully hers.

“How can I lose men I do not have? I had hoped to bestow Winterfell on a northman, you may recall. A son of Eddard Stark. He threw my offer in my face.” Stannis Baratheon with a grievance was like a mastiff with a bone; he gnawed it down to splinters.
“By right Winterfell should go to my sister Sansa.“
“Lady Lannister, you mean? Are you so eager to see the Imp perched on your father’s seat? I promise you, that will not happen whilst I live, Lord Snow.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon I]

“Jon said, “Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa.”
“I have heard all I need to hear of Lady Lannister and her claim.” The king set the cup aside. “You could bring the north to me. Your father’s bannermen would rally to the son of Eddard Stark. Even Lord Too-Fat-to-Sit-a-Horse. White Harbor would give me a ready source of supply and a secure base to which I could retreat at need. It is not too late to amend your folly, Snow. Take a knee and swear that bastard sword to me, and rise as Jon Stark, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North.”
[A Dance with Dragons – Jon IV]

“When Jon had been very young, too young to understand what it meant to be a bastard, he used to dream that one day Winterfell might be his. Later, when he was older, he had been ashamed of those dreams. Winterfell would go to Robb and then his sons, or to Bran or Rickon should Robb die childless. And after them came Sansa and Arya. Even to dream otherwise seemed disloyal, as if he were betraying them in his heart, wishing for their deaths. I never wanted this, he thought as he stood before the blue-eyed king and the red woman. I loved Robb, loved all of them . . . I never wanted any harm to come to any of them, but it did.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon XI]

Through a Jon and Sansa union, Jon would get Winterfell without having to surpass Sansa’s right and they both would be able to restore and rebuild Winterfell like they dream of. And if Sansa has indeed been disowned by Robb’s mysterious will, then Jon could conceivably give it back to her.

I do not think Sansa’s story arc would feel satisfying if her lesson truly is “marrying for love is for fools”, “you’re only worth your title” or “you should only love someone who is ugly after all you’ve been through” (though, Jon might end up a little deformed by the end, anyway – if he does in fact lose an eye or go blind.)

It appears that Sansa hasn’t given up completely on love, perhaps just become a little disillusioned on it. She’s settling. When we last see her in her TWOW chapter, she’s still hopeful that the man she is to marry might love her. She doesn’t want a loveless marriage. She desperately wants to be loved.

Fantastic Post showing how Sansa started out looking for love and losing her hope via Sansa hand of the king

Just like Sansa might be Jon’s type, Jon might also be Sansa’s type

“Ser Waymar Royce was the youngest son of an ancient house with too many heirs. He was a handsome youth of eighteen, grey-eyed and graceful and slender as a knife.”
[A Game of Thrones – Prologue]

Before people get on about Sansa only liking boys with golden hair, or being attracted to powerful men with titles or princes, Sansa’s first crush was a boy who is described a lot like Jon.

“She had fallen wildly in love with Ser Waymar, she remembered dimly, but that was a lifetime ago, when she was a stupid little girl.”
[A Feast for Crows – Alayne I ]

It’s important to note that Ser Waymar Royce was a third born son, who chose to join the Night’s Watch.

Like I established above; Jon is the hero she wishes for, he’s brave, gentle and strong like Ned promised, and he might be the kindest and most honorable man she’ll encounter on her journey.

About Sansa’s First Crush and her Taste in Men via butterflies-dragons
Jon and Waymar Royce via randomtvramblings

They are both romantics

“She pictured the two of them sitting together in a garden with puppies in their laps, or listening to a singer strum upon a lute while they floated down the Mander on a pleasure barge.”
[Storm of Swords – Sansa II]

“If I could show her Winterfell … give her a flower from the glass gardens, feast her in the Great Hall, and show her the stone kings on their thrones. We could bathe in the hot pools, and love beneath the heart tree while the old gods watched over us.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon V ]

There’s a good possibility and reason to believe that Jon will be physically attracted to Sansa, with her red hair, blue eyes, and her touted beauty. But he might also be attracted to her personality – her kind, gentler aspects.

Ned/Cat Parallels

“Your father didn’t love me when we married. He hardly knew me or I him. Love didn’t just happen to us. We built it slowly over the years, stone by stone, for you, for your brothers and sisters, for all of us. It’s not as exciting as secret passion in the woods, but it is stronger. It lasts longer.”
[S2Ep10]

Out of all the relationships and marriages in ASOIAF, Ned and Cat’s is probably the most healthy and romantic out of all of them. They were not first intended to be wed, and they have, of course, had their bumps along the way, but they grew to genuinely love each other and have several little starklings at Winterfell.

It’s been well established that Jon is the spitting image of Ned, and Sansa is the spitting image of Catelyn. They are similar in their mannerisms, as well.

“She might have overlooked a dozen bastards for Ned’s sake, so long as they were out of sight. Jon was never out of sight, and as he grew, he looked more like Ned than any of the trueborn sons she bore him. Somehow, that made it worse.”
[A Game of Thrones – Catelyn II]

“Sansa was a lady at three, always so courteous and eager to please. She loved nothing so well as tales of knightly valor. Men would say she had my look, but she will grow into a woman far more beautiful than I ever was, you can see that. I often sent away her maid so I could brush her hair myself. She had auburn hair, lighter than mine, and so thick and soft… the red in it would catch the light of the torches and shine like copper.”
[A Clash of Kings – Catelyn VII]

“Your father was no friend of mine, but only a fool would doubt his honor or his honesty. You have his look.” […] Stannis looked disgusted. “Your father was a stubborn man as well. Honor, he called it. Well, honor has its costs, as Lord Eddard learned to his sorrow.”
[A Storm of Swords – Jon XI]

“I see it now,” the Lady Lysa said, as she set the core aside. “You look so much like Catelyn.” “It’s kind of you to say so.” “It was not meant as a flattery. If truth to be told, you look too much like Catelyn. Something must be done.”
[A Storm of Swords – Sansa VI]

[Note: These last few sections are still a work in progress, and hopefully will be updated soon.]

More theories and metas I enjoy

Wuthering heights Reddit post by u/Cantuse

Scale of Dragon, Tooth of Wolf: ASOIAF and the Wars of the Roses by Kitten1618x

The Odyssey by ladyandtheghost

Tolkien and Arwen and Aragorn by Fedonciadale

Parallels between Sansa Stark and Queen Elizabeth I by historyoficeandfire

Sansa and Elizabeth of York Reddit post by u/elmcitydame

Jon Snow and The Tragic Hero Oedipus by a-baleful-howl

And finally – “It’s just a delusional crackship!”

A crack ship is Snape and the Basilisk. A crack ship is Ghost and a weirwood. Or Will Smith and Sasuke. (Explicit fic warning, click at your own risk lol) There’s nothing wrong with enjoying crack ships for what they are – but calling Jon x Sansa a crackship are transparent attempts to gaslight, demean, harass and police a section of the fandom that you do not agree with.

Obviously, as already laid out, there are reasons to support this ship. There are reasons to love this ship. There are reasons to believe this ship is going to happen. It is not “delusional”. It is not a crack ship.

Just a small disclaimer-y footnote: GRRM has every right and possibility to change his story and the journey his characters go on, because the series is not finished. He has not been silent on the fact that sometimes his characters change course and he discovers new directions for them to go down as he’s writing. Though, he has always maintained that his original final endgame has not changed, so who knows? This post is a collection of the arguments and proof that Jonsa shippers have to ship it – a manifesto to combat the claim that we are “delusional.” Clearly there are valid reasons to ship it.

Other resources

Some Thoughts on Jon and Sansa, a post by TZE on Westeros.org from 2012

A Time for Wolves: A Case for Jon and Sansa via blindestspot from 2013

Reddit Post on Jonsa Foreshadowing Reddit post by u/Jjonsaaon r/FreeFolk of all places…

Romance over Rivalry:The Benefits of a Jon/Sansa Marriage by Katie Majka for WinterIsComing.net

Jonsameta Tumblr Blog

Jon x Sansa page on fanlore.com

All jonsa foreshadowing video on YouTube by FeuerHexe

This post is an amalgamation of lots of wonderful and thoughtful posts, metas and essays the Jonsa and ASOIAF fandom have produced over the years. I don’t make this post to single anyone out, or to exclude anyone, but only to create an updated, concise post for easy sharing and to produce discussion. Without the many heads of the Jonsa and ASOIAF fandom, we wouldn’t have so much content. After all, no man is an island.

I was inspired to create this after Con of Thrones 2018, and my many (late night and drunken) attempts to explain my theories about a Jon and Sansa endgame. (Shout out to Simon and and Pete!) I wanted to have a concise list of references for next time, or for those who were interested to learn more. It’s taken me several months to finish this, but hopefully it was not in vain.

Thanks deserved to scullylikesscience, jonbonsnowvi, occupyvenus, fedonciadale, lady-in-a-song, reservedlisting, sweetshireenbaratheon and shinynewrevulsions for helping me research and find links for this post. And big thanks to Ali for the title of this post.